Category: Humor

How to Get A Goddess

Many men (or women) would love to date a Goddess. She is attractive, not necessarily conventionally so, but She has an energy about her that is alluring. She is intelligent, confident, capable. She loves her body and knows how enjoy it, unapologetically. She doesn’t need a man (or a woman)…but might consider one, if they’re on Her level.

Look at this specimen. An unkempt slob with dirty socks, cleaning his teeth with his finger. If you’re not aware, one of my talents is my ability to read minds. His is saying that he doesn’t understand why these bitches won’t fuck him. Or even talk to him. He makes a joke to himself about a hot chick getting one of his ball hairs stuck in her teeth while they’re in her mouth.

Now, look at this specimen. He is showered and you can’t see this but he trimmed his pubes. He obviously cares about his appearance. He appears to have collared and leashed himself. (He already did his research and knows She likes red fuzzy slippers in size 8.5. The order is on its way.) If you listen you can hear him quietly ask, “Goddess, how can I serve you today?” Good boy.

Get into it, gentlemen.