Luke needed another attitude adjustment. And I was just the person to give it.
Thorough discipline. Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Total Dominance. Mind, body, and soul.
Then, he needed to be tied…
…in a configuration befitting the sacrifice of body and mind for his greater good.
His legs were bound next.
Then, a final “lesson”, which I’m sure will stick with him for a very long time: cleansing through dehumanization.
When we emerged from My Temenos, it was clear a shift had indeed taken place.
During this visit, he offered this lovely card and gift:
Then, later sent these very thoughtful and kind words:
Forgive me, but I am having trouble putting into words how incredible our session was. … I will take this moment to thank You for Your aftercare patience, as You clearly sensed I was a bit off-kilter – and stunned by even being off-kilter. I still am…but please bear with me, as I feel compelled to capture and express this “moment”, as it were.
Our first session was mind-blowing. And frankly, I came into today thinking about proving how much more I could take (to whom, I don’t know…). Anyway, You changed all of that very quickly. First, I was not at all prepared for the weaknesses You extracted from me. As I started to reflect… the dynamics of the session took a very sharp turn, and I was completely disarmed. I fell into subspace quite early, which is a slight surprise, but I guess we both already know You can that to me.
However, what happened in the last 30 minutes of our session was completely unprecedented. I’d [highlighted] an abstract picture of “ego death”…a while ago. It seemed like a great ‘stretch goal’, as the corporate types are wont to say. I never contemplated that You could bring this upon me in one session, let alone our very next session.
It makes me reflect upon what is so very unique about You. You are intimidatingly cerebral, as I mentioned…yet…unexpectedly intuitive – a terribly potent combination. Moreover, to use a word I offered in session, You are truly authentic.
Today, You took me to unfamiliar places. You dangled me there, right on the edge of submission and panic, over and over again. Yet you never caused me to want or need to safeword. Somehow, through 90 minutes, You taught me both submission and trust, as every time I felt I couldn’t take any more, it was Your hand that picked me back up.
And then, the final 30 minutes.
The cynical, obsessively analytical part of me desperately wants to understand what happened. What I can recall was that you tied me like an object, and I’ve never before felt so helpless. I was also stunned at your strength…. But the main thing I recall – and it is reminiscent of our first mind-blowing session – is Your relentlessness. Every time I thought it was over – that I had survived, or that You were satisfied – You came back for more. Every time I tried to piece things together, You came and shattered the puzzle anew. I was completely at Your mercy, physically and emotionally, and then…everything…just…slowed down…
…such that by the time [the session was ending], I feel like I was finally sipping from that Holy Grail we subs call being “broken”. Yet…I didn’t feel at all damaged. I felt – oddly – in a state of nearly perfect peace. I lay there, nearly devoid of thought, taking in Your words and Your dominance, accepting them with no resistance. Even as You thoughtfully brought me back from subspace, I was having trouble distinguishing Your words from my own thoughts. It was truly disorienting, in a way that I have never before experienced.
Again, I thank You for everything – for Your thoughtfulness and professionalism and the trust these engender, for Your intellect, intuition, and intensity, and for allowing me to again be a canvas for your indelible signature.
Thank you, Luke!! You are a joy.