Mistress Tissa’s Lexicon: Boner High

Boner High: The effects in perception and judgment due to sexual arousal. This can be expressed¬†positively and¬†negatively. (For My non-English readers who aren’t aware, “boner” is a slang word for an erection.)

When someone is sexually aroused it is usually accompanied by a motivation to seek out a way to release the tension that builds from this arousal. The good thing that can come from this is that it can add fuel to a hot fantasy,¬†open minds to try new things, expand consciousness, and make for more satisfying sexual experiences. The bad thing is that people may do all sorts of stupid shit while under its influence — from the slightly embarrassing to the criminal. Lives can be and have been forever changed from impulsive behavior due to its effects.

One effect is that it tends to change the way people perceive reality. This is similar to what a drug can do. One’s focus becomes very singular: fulfillment of the “need”. Blinders go on and everything else is drowned out. There is often an rise in poor manners and judgment, feelings of entitlement, double standards, and misunderstanding, ignoring, or even violating the boundaries of others. People may say or do anything in order to satiate their need — even at their own peril.

For example, one of My policies for all new clients is that they must put a deposit down on a session. The primary reason why I, and many other Dommes, require this is because of the prevalence of Boner High. What happens is: people begin fantasizing, get aroused, want relief, contact a Dominatrix to set-up a session, and then between the time they set it up and the time it’s supposed to happen, the sexual tension becomes too unbearable and they find release. Sometimes the act of making the appointment is actually the culmination of the high, if not just talking to the Domme. Therefore, once the tension has been released, the session is no longer desired (if it ever truly was) and so they don’t show up or cancel. As professionals, we obviously can’t sustain our livelihood by allowing ourselves to be subject to the negative effects of Boner High. (I do love the positive effects, though.) Putting down money shows us you’re serious and thinking with more than your Boner. And if you’re not? Well, that’s your responsibility, not Ours.