I just saw Beth for the first time last night. She contacted me and said she really wanted to experience a session with a Dominatrix, and had thought about for a long time, but felt very apprehensive about it — so apprehensive that she felt she couldn’t even talk about it out loud.
While we were negotiating the scene, which was clearly challenging for her, she expressed some deeper issues, such as embarrassment, shame, and that she “spent a lifetime repressing feelings or thoughts that seemed ‘wrong'”.
She disclosed that she struggles with depression and a lot of anxiety. She explained that she’s let fear “rule” her her entire life and make decisions for her, and this has filled her with many regrets. Some of her fear was about physical contact and intimacy, and that she’s has created walls to protect herself, which simultaneously has created her own isolation from happiness and fulfillment.
But she said she is tired of it. She’s tired of being a “prisoner of her own brain”; she really wants to break through that. And she told me she thought I would be a good match for her because of my background and skills in psychology, and the testimonials that people had written about their experiences with me.
I suggested a coaching session before we met to discuss some of these deeper feelings and hopefully help to assuage her anxiety. She accepted and it allowed me to get to know her even more, which allowed me to tweak the session to benefit her even more.
I wanted it to be therapeutic, but also sexy. Well, here’s what she emailed me afterward:
“I just got home, exhausted, a bit delirious and with a behind that is still stinging….I smiled the whole way home. I truly do not know how to thank you for tonight. It was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced, and although I am still a bit overwhelmed and my head is spinning as I try to process this, I am so profoundly grateful to you. You really must have super powers, because you managed to intimidate me, get in my head and push, while somehow managing to make me feel comfortable with you, and safe. Trust does not come easily to me, and although I don’t know why, I do trust you. I left your house feeling so proud of myself ( a rarity!) And by the time I got home, I was actually feeling hopeful, for the first time in a very long time, that I might be able to break thru these limits this time. Hope is everything, and I have no idea how to thank you for that.
I hope I have your permission to request another session with you down the road, because i really believe I have more work to do. And, just typing this is making me bright red, but it was actually fun!
Thank you so much Mistress, for everything.”