sub c is from out of state and isn’t in Philly much, but he happened to be visiting only a month after he was here last. “[I] cannot resist the opportunity to session with You again,” he wrote in a message to me.
When we first spoke, sub c told me he wanted pain. While he used the word “masochist” to describe himself, what that meant to him wasn’t the conventional definition. But I understood it. And I turned it over in my head as I thought about our first, and now 2nd scene.
He also emphasized the importance of the psychological component. And of needing to be humiliated and degraded. I told him those are some of my specialties.
Aside from the overlap of his main interests with some of my specialties, sub c is the kind of player I especially delight in: he actually has a sincere interest in giving up control to me, he’s very much open to my vision and to being pushed, and he enjoys thoughtful consideration of the scene.
Doesn’t he look good here? Mmm…good enough to beat!
I loved our session and had deeply satisfying moments of Domspace. I can get really creative when I feel like someone isn’t afraid of being challenged, trusts me and my skills, and is genuinely surrendering to me.
He wrote me this a couple of days later:
“Thank you for another session that was more than I could have hoped for. There is so much that is packed in to a session with you that it takes me days or weeks to fully appreciate what you created.
In particular, it has been fascinating for me to process [one of the scene activities]. In the moment, I was mentally frustrated. It was within my limits but definitely not something I would have fantasized about or asked for. …
As I process, I begin to see the genius in what you created. You took me to a place where I was experiencing exactly what I was requesting, submission of my will to yours. I was not pretending it was happening, it was actually happening and the mental frustration of the moment was an essential component.
I love that you challenge me and that you are thoughtful and creative with the methods and mediums that you use to push. I think in some ways that the mental suffering I went through feels now like a more authentic way of being hurt since there was a bit of a time gap before I was able to contextualize the situation and ultimately get satisfaction from it.
I’m sure more revelations will come as I continue to sort things out, but I just wanted to let you know I am in awe of your sorcery.”
Thank you, sub c! I hope to adventure with you again soon!