Tag: adult humor

How to Get A Goddess

Many men (or women) would love to date a Goddess. She is attractive, not necessarily conventionally so, but She has an energy about her that is alluring. She is intelligent, confident, capable. She loves her body and knows how enjoy it, unapologetically. She doesn’t need a man (or a woman)…but might consider one, if they’re on Her level.

Look at this specimen. An unkempt slob with dirty socks, cleaning his teeth with his finger. If you’re not aware, one of my talents is my ability to read minds. His is saying that he doesn’t understand why these bitches won’t fuck him. Or even talk to him. He makes a joke to himself about a hot chick getting one of his ball hairs stuck in her teeth while they’re in her mouth.

Now, look at this specimen. He is showered and you can’t see this but he trimmed his pubes. He obviously cares about his appearance. He appears to have collared and leashed himself. (He already did his research and knows She likes red fuzzy slippers in size 8.5. The order is on its way.) If you listen you can hear him quietly ask, “Goddess, how can I serve you today?” Good boy.

Get into it, gentlemen.

Gratitude

As a part of this time of gratitude, I’d like to thank all the subs and sluts who have come to me over the year, despite the concerns people have about their risk for contracting something. (Which no one reported as having happened, by the way.)

In this post, I’d like to spotlight two special submissives: slave john…

…and Monkey Dick

Since I’ve welcomed them both into Temenos, over 6 years ago for slave john and over 5 years ago for Monkey Dick, we have had many, many sessions in that time, and I still absolutely love and look forward to playing with them both.

slave john: On top of his generosity in the dungeon — giving himself over to me physically, mentally, emotionally — he has been so generous with me on the outside. Always giving me thoughtful gifts that brighten my day.

A message he sent me after our last session, reflecting on how I’m special to him:

“…you really get me high.You get into my brain and make me confused,in a wonderful way.My other sessions [had] a lot of hands on. They were very good but not a lot of substance.Your sessions are blinding.I literally see flashes of light at times in our sessions.You take me higher mentally than any other Dom I have ever seen.Thank You!!!!! … Thank you very much for seeing me and taking me on mini vacations to outerspace”

Thank you, slave john. You are a treasured sub and I’m grateful you’re my pig.

Monkey Dick: He delights me with his openness to any new CBT or bondage device or predicament on him, and his willingness to take what I give. He’s also extremely reliable, punctual and well mannered.

Some of my favorite messages from him:

“You really understand what I was asking for. The level of control you exerted over me was great! … I feel like a broke through to a new level of submission/power exchange.  It was incredible!!!  Thank you!!”

It was an absolutely great session! …with a skilled CBT sadist, cannot wait till our next session!!!

Thank you for an outstanding session. … What a great way to end the year!”

Thank you, Monkey Dick. You are a treasured sub and I’m grateful you’re the CBT masochist to my CBT sadist.

The reality of what years of repetitive dungeon cleaning will do to you

C.B.T.Fridays

I look forward to the Fridays that Monkey Dick presents himself on a platter and I get to serve up more sizzling hot torture to his doomed slavemeat.

This week, I showed him to his place at the cross, affixed him, and tenderized his balls with a three-course flogging.

Then, I brought him to a seat with a better view, where I made sure he was very comfortable before I made him very uncomfortable. This week’s special? Metal ball stretcher with a plate of sharp spikes.

Imagine how deliriou–I mean, delicious–those sharp spikes felt on his choked, tightly stretched, and tenderized slaveballs…

For dessert, I treated him to some tasty womanhandling before I allowed him to go. Pushing men around is one of my absolutely favorite things to cook up. 😈

From Monkey Dick:

“Thank you for the absolutely great session!  When I noticed you laughing and enjoying yourself as I squirmed from your painful tortures I knew [I was] really “doomed”.  You demonstrated your incredible CBT skills … I found this intense prolonged torture very exciting. … I had forgotten how exciting rough play can be. … When you grabbed my throat, put your weight on me, that really added to my excitement. … Thanks again for the great session”