A Bit About Anal Play

This article is for those who are curious about anal play: how to try it…or what to do if it didn’t live up to your fantasies.

I’m a big ol’ anal top and have been taunting, training, and taking butts for almost 15 years now. Little butts, big butts, virgin butts, hungry-hungry-hippo butts. It’s one of my favorite things*. Butt, alass, this is not the case for all.

Sometimes when someone volunteers a little bit about why they dislike it, such as “I didn’t enjoy it because it hurt” or “I tried it once…wasn’t sexy”, I will ask if they don’t mind me inquiring further about their experience (for my own research purposes). What I usually discover is that they either tried it themselves and didn’t know what they were doing or they were introduced to it by a girlfriend or Domme who didn’t know what she was doing. It makes me sad because one bad experience — or even one less-than-hot experience — can sour people to the point of never wanting to try it again.

The reason why this happens is because people don’t bother educating themselves about how it works, what to do, and what not to do. They think it’s as simple as Put Thing In Hole. They don’t consider how their body might react or how it needs to adapt. Then, because they don’t know these things, they make assumptions and end up writing the whole thing off.

There is a common misconception that your first experience will look like what you see in porn. You know, that hot FemDom clip where she’s ramming a huge cock in his ass and he’s moaning in bliss. You swoon, “Ohmygoddess, I would do anything to be fucked like that!” I hate to break it to you, my slut, but that will not be anywhere close to what your first experience will be like. That is what may happen if you spend some quality time training your ass.

The reality is that your first experience putting something past your anus and into your rectum may feel unpleasant. Maybe even a little painful. You may feel like you suddenly have to shit. Which is the opposite of what you were expecting to feel. And is it at this point that some people decide they hate it. Because “this is supposed to feel as good as that FemDom clip looks!” and it doesn’t so horniness turns into bitter disappointment and the dildo goes into the dark drawer, never to be seen again.

Well, I say: give it another try. But let me help you get started on the right path.

If you want to experience what it would be like to be fucked like the gasping, whimpering, writhing-in-ecstasy bottom in the clip, start by exploring your own ass. Look at it in the mirror.  Touch it. Touch the area around it. Pay attention to how it feels when you lube up your finger and just slide it around your anus. Be gentle. You want to make friends with your budding cockhole.

Once you’re comfortable you can get ready to slide something in.

If you’re not sure where to look for the right toys there are plenty of guides online. (I may just write one myself.) Without a little help, people may end up getting something that’s not suitable for them. This can be because you feel like a kid in a candy store and you just buy whatever looks like it would feel good in your ass. It also can mean you may unknowingly buy something that shouldn’t actually be touching your private parts. See, the sex toy industry is not regulated and so they’re pretty much free to use all sorts of toxic materials to make the things you are rubbing back and forth against your delicate insides. Some of these compounds can be absorbed by your tissue and some of them are linked to things like endocrine disruption, birth defects, and cancer.

Another issue that can confuse consumers is that you can’t trust that a manufacturer actually knows what the hell they’re making. It’s true. Some of them clearly haven’t ever done the activity they are making products for. (I’m looking at you, Random China Brand Often Found In Places Like Amazon, eBay, or Alibaba.) Take for example this plug:

MistressTissa_wtfintroplug

Notice the way it’s marketed: “Perfect size for intro anal play”.

Hunty, this is in no way an “intro” plug — unless you are an elephant. This plug has a circumference of 6.5″. You know what else has a circumference of 6.5″? My vitamin bottle. No beginner should be trying to put a vitamin bottle in their ass.

Here’s a comparison of the above plug with a plug that is actually more suitable for introductory play:

MistressTissa_PlugCompariso

When you’re ready to try putting something in, start with something small. Like a finger. The actual beginner plug on the left is like a finger. A meaty, manly finger that will probe your wet, hungr–oh, sorry. I got carried away.

If you’re using a toy, and it’s not a body-safe material like silicone, glass, or medical-grade stainless steel, be sure to slide a condom on it. (We don’t want sexy time to later turn into anal cancer time.) If you don’t have a toy, or a meaty, manly finger, use your own finger. If a finger still feels too big, use something with an even smaller diameter. This could be a pen, wood dowel (make sure it’s not a wood that will easily snap in half), or anything else that doesn’t have sharp edges that can hurt you. And, of course, put a condom on it, too.

If you’re concerned about the possibility of getting a little poo on your hand, put a glove on. Or, if you want to be sure that there will definitely not be any poo on your hand — glove or not — you can get one of those cheap enema kits (like Fleet), empty the contents, fill with lukewarm water, and gently rinse yourself out until you’re clear.

Once you’re ready, lube it up.

Lay on your back and slowly slide the toy or finger in. Not very far; just the tip. Just enough to get your anus familiar with the sensation of something going in instead of coming out. Breathe and relax while you’re doing this.

Once that feels okay, you can slide it in a little further. If it doesn’t, either just sit there and wait to see if the discomfort passes or, if it doesn’t, take it out. Wait a few moments and try again. Then breathe and relax. Repeat. Until you have it where you want it.

If it feels uncomfortable, focus on relaxing that area. If it still feels uncomfortable, you can stroke or use a vibe on your cock or clit and see if that helps. If not, you can stop and try again another time.

Keep in mind that it can take several tries to feel any pleasure. And for some it never seems to feel pleasurable. That’s okay. You can do something else. Maybe come back to it next month or next year. Or never. Whatever you want.

Dicks. Lots of dicks.

For those who do find the right feel and are ready to move on, you can size up, if that is your goal.

Again: always use condoms on unsafe or unknown materials and always with a lot of lube.

Once you get to where you feel like you can take a dildo, start slowly there, too. No matter how eager you are to be your Mistress’s dirty, dirty slut, don’t force anything. You can injure yourself, which can be very painful, and possibly lose some of the progress you’ve made as your body heals. 

Now, for those who want to ask a professional Domme for anal play…

*Please be aware that some Dommes don’t openly offer it. The reason is laws can make it a risky endeavor. This is because, depending on your jurisdiction or which judge’s courtroom you may unfortunately end up in, anal penetration within a professional practice could be — and in some cases definitely is — construed as “prostitution”. Therefore, to be safe, some Dommes, like myself, do not advertise it.

You can mention that you find anal play interesting. (Unless she indicates it’s a hard limit.) You can tell her what your experience level is. Just be prepared that the negotiation process may be slightly different than other activities, if she is willing to negotiate it at all — especially if you have no references. Just be patient and follow her lead.

Once you do get to the point of making that dream come true, be sure to rinse that hiney out. Practice beforehand until you’re good at it. Then make sure you do it before you arrive for the session so there aren’t any surprises. Then, relax and enjoy every minute of it!

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slave m: beaten, fucked, and shocked

The best way i would begin to describe my most recent session with Mistress Tissa would be to say it took place in three different phases, each one with an equal mix of pain and pleasure.  During phase one i was whipped, phase two i was fucked, and phase three i was shocked.  All three phases were equally intense.  After again stressing my devotion to Mistress Tissa on my knees, i was told to climb up onto a padded bench.  Mistress Tissa then cuffed my wrists and hooked my hands to two over head restraints that kept my arms in the air for the duration of my beating at the hands of a true Goddess.  Before beginning, Mistress Tissa told me that She would be using some of Her “new toys” on me that She had recently purchased on Her cross country road trip.  My guess was that none of Mistress Tissa’s new toys were made by Fisher Price.  Like our last session, Mistress Tissa used various instruments of torture on me, but i did not recognize most of the new devices She used, so my thinking was most of them were new.  The difference between the beatings i was given this session and during the last one was that Mistress Tissa seemed to focus on my ass and the backs of my thighs, rarely hitting my back at all.  i was administered 8 to 10 whacks with each instrument and then Mistress would move to her next “toy.”  Finally, Mistress seemed to settle on a new type of cane that had a very different feel than anything She had ever used on me.  When She hit me with it i could feel the same sting that i felt with previous canes that Mistress used on me, but it was a heavier instrument that landed with more of a thud.  i am not even sure what you would call this instrument, although Mistress Tissa described it in her blog as somewhat of a Lexan cane*. All i know is when She brought it down hard on my ass, it hurt like hell.  Mistress Tissa hit me with Her “new toy” a few times then stopped.  She started again and then stopped.  Then She started again in very rapid succession.  For some unknown reason i started counting very quietly to myself.  I thought Mistress Tissa might grow tired when she gave me a 50 lashes with the cane, then 100, or even 150.  It was all probably wishful thinking as i am fully aware that Mistress Tissa is extremely athletic and could probably whip me for hours without growing tired, if She desired.  Finally She decided i had enough and She stopped whipping me.  i stopped my count at 186.    What came next was the pleasure part of phase one when Mistress Tissa began softly rubbing Her healing hands across my burning skin.  i have written about what this feels like in recent writings, so this time i will be brief in my description and only use one word, fantastic!

It was now time for me to get fucked by the amazing Mistress Tissa!  i was told to bend over and place my head on the bondage table that was pulled up next to the padded bench, where i was still kneeling.  Mistress Tissa then prepared me for what was to come.  Mistress Tissa placed a new type of gag over my mouth that i believe is called a spider gag.  i looked up the name of it on Wikipedia, under gags (BDSM).  You can find almost anything on Wikipedia, including spider gags.   The spider gag kept my mouth open the entire time.  Mistress Tissa also tied my wrists together and tied them to the bondage table.  i was not going anywhere, not that i wanted to.  It was time to give myself completely to Mistress Tissa, not that i had any choice in the matter.  Mistress Tissa then lubricated my ass and …prepar[ed] me for what was coming next.  First a butt plug,  which accidently fell out (Mistress Tissa was not happy), then dildo number one, a larger dildo number two, and the largest dildo of the day number three was pushed into me from behind.  The dildos were all being worn by the intoxicating Mistress Tissa.  After each time Mistress Tissa fucked me from behind She informed me that, “you are not done yet.”  Number three was a challenge for me.  i was not convinced that i could take it all the way in, but Mistress Tissa was convinced that i was going to take it and She always has the final word.  Actually during all of O/our sessions She has the only word that counts.  As Mistress Tissa pounded into me from behind, Her thighs banging against mine, She reminded me of some of the statements that i am required to say as Mistress Tissa fucks me.  The statements this day were (in no particular order):  “i am your bitch.” “i am your slut,” “i am your whore, Mistress,”  “my fuck hole belongs to you Mistress,” “please fuck me Mistress,” “more, please more Mistress.”  These were just some of the statements that i was required to make to demonstrate my devotion to Mistress Tissa as She continued to demonstrate Her complete power over me.  i did not mind making any of the previous statements, but the only problem i experienced throughout was trying to make those statements with the spider gag making it almost impossible to speak.  Mistress Tissa showed no sympathy, continuing to force me to speak through the gag and then laughing as i mumbled my various statements of devotion to Her.  Something i also learned about the gag was that it caused me to drool constantly from my mouth, as I could not control the saliva from flowing onto the bondage table, and there was no pad under me.  i made the decision to cover my mouth with my bound hand to stop my drooling in place of telling Mistress of my predicament.  i am not sure that was a good idea but I decided at that moment to not take the chance of disappointing Mistress Tissa.  Finally, Mistress Tissa pushed into me for the last time and withdrew dildo number three from my ass.  She then informed me that it was the largest one i had ever taken.  i was not surprised by that comment.  Mistress Tissa often tells me that She has to train my ass to take something bigger.  This was definitely a “big” training day for me.

For phrase three i was instructed to sit on Her bondage chair and to spread my legs.  Mistress Tissa secured both my legs and arms to the chair, making me fully exposed for Her pleasure.  i was then blindfolded.  i could not see a thing, which i am sure was Mistress Tissa’s plan.  Mistress Tissa then applied what felt like a gel to my balls, and the electric shocks to my balls began.

MistressTissa_electro

I guess the voltage was being adjusted as sometimes the shocks were clearly more painful than others.  i assume that Mistress Tissa was using the TENS device on me that She has used in the past.  The only time i used my safe word during a session was when Mistress Tissa shocked my penis and balls with the TENS device.  This time i made it through without using my safe word as either i was very lucky or more likely Mistress Tissa decided to take go easy on me.

i was then instructed to lie on the floor on my back next to the bondage table.  Mistress Tissa climbed up on the table and placed Her boots on my chest.  i love being below Her!  At times She pushed her boots down onto my cock and balls and at other times She dug Her spiked heels into my very sore nipples.

MistressTissa_newrug

But, it was all good because before She did any of this She removed my blindfold and i was now being permitted to look up at the stunning Mistress Tissa.  i was sore, but content.  i would have been content staying in that position for hours under the spell of Mistress Tissa, but that was not meant to be, as O/our session would soon be coming to a close.  But, before finishing my writings, i will share that while i was on the floor looking up at Mistress Tissa, She again allowed me to kiss her boots several times and to suck on her spiked heel.

MistressTissa_feeding

Mistress Tissa again reminded me that i was a lucky slave.  Very, very true!  Thank you Mistress Tissa, from someone who is completely devoted to serving You.

* It is indeed a fiberglass cane encased in a padded sleeve. I have decided to name it “Punisher”.

slave m has the honor of trying My new body bag

Most of my sessions with Mistress Tissa are different than previous sessions, and this one most definitely fit that category. Although the session began like most others with me kneeling at the feet of Mistress Tissa and explaining to Her why i had come to serve Her on this day. i always look forward to that part of the session, when i kneel at Her feet. But this session moved in a very different direction when Mistress Tissa informed me … that i would then be placed in Her newly acquired body bag….

During my entrapment, Mistress would periodically talk to me and run Her amazing hands over my body. Any time Mistress Tissa touches me it sends chills up my spine, so i was content that i was being touched by Mistress Tissa in any way, even though the touch was through a body bag. Naturally, i was only able to use one of my five senses and that was the sense of sound. i remained very still and tried to listen to every sound in the room, from the sound of Mistress Tissa touching various instruments in the room, to the sound that her heels made as she walked across the floor, and finally to my own breathing. As each minute passed i could not help but wonder what Mistress Tissa had in store for me on this day. As i waited and wondered, i remember closing my eyes and thinking back to my very first session with Mistress Tissa and how i have transitioned over time to be completely enthralled by Her and dedicated to serving Her for as long as She will allow me. i know now that i am under the complete control of this amazing and dominant woman.

MistressTissa_bagged

Finally the body bag and hood were removed and … Mistress placed bondage boots on my feet and bondage gloves on my hands. She then connected my ankles and wrists to separate spreader bars and raised both over my head. Although i was still on my back on Her bondage table, my hands and feet were raised toward the ceiling. Although this was a new position for me, i was quite sure that i knew what was coming next and that i would soon have my ass penetrated for Mistress Tissa’s enjoyment. i was right! Several different size butt plugs were inserted into me which Mistress Tissa always explains is part of my training to take on the next biggest size. … To describe how i felt at that very moment cannot be put into words, so i won’t try. Mistress Tissa then told me to rub my penis and to give “Her an offering.” That meant that Mistress Tissa would be allowing me to have an orgasm. That is something that She only does on occasion with me and I felt very privileged that She was going to allow me to give Her an offering during this particular session. But, i always know to ask Mistress Tissa for permission before cumming. i often wonder if She will stop me right before my orgasm, but on this occasion She did not. i thanked Mistress Tissa for allowing my orgasm and for allowing me to serve Her on this special day for me. my words were, “thank You Mistress Tissa for allowing me to serve You the way You deserve to be served.” i am forever dedicated to being Your slave m!