Mistress Tissa: Authentic FemDom

FemDom is an often distorted concept.

Much of mainstream BDSM’s depiction is actually MaleDom fetishism disguised as the woman in control. This is especially true in porn. It’s so pervasive that some people out there honestly don’t seem to know the difference.

Maybe you’re one of those who knows this. You can tell when you play with someone who isn’t actually Dominant. It all seems unbelievable. Contrived. And you’re left feeling a little let down. Like you want to feel truly dominated. Real control.

This requires an understanding and mastery of power.

Does this describe me?

Ask some of my subs:

The level of control you exerted over me was great! … I feel like a broke through to a new level of submission/power exchange.  It was incredible!!!

Thank You for letting me experience one of the few true power-exchange scenes i’ve had ever

in one session she got me so “high” on her power over me I actually did faint for about 10 seconds.Talk about POWER!! … If you’ve been looking for a REAL session and want to submit you’ve found the right Mistress

Mistress Tissa is absolutely incredible, exemplifying the title of Professional Domme. … Our session was so fluid, natural, and powerful that I’m still shuddering from the crescendo.

When I am with Her, I know I am with a genuinely dominant, deliciously kinky and stunningly beautiful woman who totally controls my mind and body during the time we spend together

The way You control mind body and spirit is uncanny. You truly are a Sorceress. i thoroughly enjoyed everything we did, but being under the power of Your gaze would have been worth the trip by itself.

I have had sessions with many different Dommes, but none as beautiful, powerful, and controlling as Mistress Tissa.

You are an amazing Mistress. … You are the most powerful woman i have ever met.

If you want authentic domination and you are submissive RUN to her Temenos and have your brain rewired.When I am with her I can feel her power being transferred onto me

Your grace, power, and presence captivated me …. I can’t wait to see you again.

Come, give yourself to me and feel my power.

sub c testimonial

“O/our session was a revelation. i am struggling with any words to thank you enough or explain what the experience has meant to me. You put me into the place i have been seeking to go for most of my life. It felt like such a genuinely shared experience and i was able to fully embrace myself and live in the moment in a way I have never quite achieved in any other session.”

Thank you, sub c! It’s a sincere pleasure to play with you. Looking forward to next time!

Training

Interested in receiving training from an authentic Mistress and professional Dominatrix?

I offer personalized training for individuals and couples in a wide variety of activities for submissives, slaves, bottoms, and/or fetishists. I typically do not train Dominants except in the case of a couple where the Dominant would like coaching from another Dominant about training their submissive. In these cases, the training must occur with both parties present. (The couple can be of any sex, gender, or sexual orientation.)

Knowing what kind of training is appropriate for you requires knowing what you are trying to accomplish. To put it simply:

If you want to learn how to be submissive, then you want submissive training.

If you want to learn how to be of service, then you want slave training.

If you want to learn how to experience an activity but do not want power exchange, then you want bottom training.

If it’s really about your specific fetishes around “training” rather than the actuality of what it looks like, you want fetishized or fantasy training.

MistressTissa_Training

Here, my submissive is receiving punishment with his training.

Also important is understanding the “mood” you would like for your training. The mood can dramatically change the feeling. I can create training sessions which are fun and laid back all the way to strict and sadistic. Please note: I may not necessarily offer any combination of type of training and mood you are looking for.

I’m a natural educator and am adept in many activities, but I’m especially well suited for those wishing to be trained in:

MistressTissa_SubmissionAuthentic Submission. This involves the incorporation of my formal studies in psychology and philosophy (and spirituality, when mutually desired) to teach you what genuine submission is and how to find, express, and/or hone it within yourself. This can be sexy, challenging, fun, educational, and powerful. (Psst…it’s not really about just being on your knees.)

MistressTissa_SlaveBakesAuthentic Slavery. Like submissive training, I use my knowledge and skills in psychology and philosophy (and, again, any mutual interests in spirituality) to teach you what genuine slavery is and how to provide it. Long-term slaves will be trained in understanding the Path of Service, including self-awareness and self-improvement. slaves may also work toward self-actualization.

Femme Training. “Femme” is a distinct concept from “female”. I do not approach femme training assuming that you are or want to be female. You can identify as male, female, or something else and be trained to be femme. Training can include only dress, including how to best dress for your  version of femme, to the inclusion of makeup, mannerisms, and speaking. The most serious femmes can also train in the psychology of femme, femme integration, and femme as a tool for healing “toxic masculinity”.  Note: I do not offer femme training as a form of humiliation.

MistressTissa_SlutTrainingSlut Training. In my world, sluts are good things, and my approach to training reflects that. How, specifically, your training occurs depends on whether you’re a sub, slave, or fetishist; but regardless, you will learn to express your glorious inner slut. You do not have to assume a female persona to engage in this type of training. Men are and can be sluts, too!

 

 

If you would like to explore training with me, whether for one session, a handful of sessions, or over a long period of time, please complete the request form on my contact page. Be sure to include details about the type of training you wish to receive. If you omit the details and just ask for “training”, I will assume that you are coming to me as a slave, have no ego needs, and you would like me to 100% choose how I train you.

If you are interested in training but are not sure which is appropriate for you and your interests, I can help pinpoint what is likely the best fit for you. I can do this is two ways:

1. If you’re not certain you want to schedule a session, request a coaching session only.

2. If you know you’re interested in scheduling a session with me, then I recommend an extended session consultation. Please complete my session request form and indicate that you would like an extended consultation.

BDSM and the Law

This is not an easy job. Not just because of everything you have to learn or acquire or manage, but because of the mores of the society in which we live and how they have affected the creation of laws and the enforcement of those laws. It’s a consideration that those of us on the providing end think about regularly — if not daily.

Offering BDSM/kink professionally involves navigating some choppy waters. While many of us have been doing what we do without incident for years — if not decades — there have been some arrests, prosecutions, and lawsuits relating to the practice of BDSM. This can create what is called “precedent”, or a court decision used as an example or authority to help resolve subsequent cases which are similar in nature. Though rulings in our favor can offer potential help, they can only help if they’re out there. And I don’t think there’s a lot of precedent out there.

While we tend to live in what one kink-friendly attorney called, “a culture of tolerance”, which means that while some things may technically not be deemed “permissible”, the laws around them are not really enforced. As a result, the unpredictability of this, mixed with a lack of precedent, means these waters are uncharted. So, if you want to explore these waters, it behooves you to understand what you might find in them.

People may not be aware of this but offering BDSM professionally is actually illegal in some places. New Jersey is one of them*. This means that someone could conceivably be arrested for offering to tie you down and spank you for payment. (Wild, huh?) It means that advertising yourself as offering or looking for pro play would be a violation of the law.

In other places professional BDSM itself isn’t illegal but certain activities might be. Do you have a fetish for strap-on play (aka “pegging”) or forced “cock” sucking? Or do you have a fantasy of being Dominated by more than one person or being in a “forced bi” scene? That’s hot and all, but in some jurisdictions those things could be construed as “prostitution” or “pimping”, respectively.

“Is this truly risky?”, you may ask. This is the nature of uncharted waters. We don’t always know the level of risk we’re taking. It’s dependent on various factors — some which we have control over and some that we don’t.

This is one reason why you may see differences in how Dommes advertise themselves. Some don’t advertise at all or don’t talk about what they do or don’t discuss payment. This can be because it’s beyond Her comfort zone to be so open, whether it’s for privacy reasons or legal ones.

If you’re thinking, “If this is true, then why have I seen Dommes offer all these things?” Sometimes it’s because the Domme honestly doesn’t care and is willing to assume the risk, in other cases She doesn’t know the law and the risk She’s taking.

Whatever the reason for the Domme, it’s in your best interest to learn the law in the area in which you play. This does not mean you have to give up on your kinky dreams. It just means you should be wise and pursue your passions carefully.

So, before sending a message to a Domme and asking, “Can you fuck me in the ass?” or “Can you pimp me out to your other clients?”, know that it may be met with silence and ruin your chances of sessioning with Her. You may need to prove yourself trustworthy before some of these things are discussed — if they ever will be at all.

*In statute 34:1, it defines “prostitution” as including “sadistic or masochistic abuse and other deviate sexual relations.”

The others states in which their prostitution statutes specifically includes sadomasochistic abuse or some variant as a “sexual act” or “sexual contact”:

Arizona
Hawaii
Louisiana
Maryland
DC

States in which toilet play (urine and/or feces) is included in the statute about prostitution:

New Hampshire
North Carolina
North Dakota

States in which the definition of “touching genitals” and/or “masturbation” could include CBT:

Oklahoma
Rhode Island
South Dakota
Texas
Washington

States in which there are extremely broad definitions which include anything designed for “sexual gratification” or that which is “lewd” and “lascivious”:

Delaware
Oklahoma

State in which a live BDSM show is considered illegal due to “indecency”:

Oregon

State in which “basic dominance and submission” are specifically EXCLUDED from the prostitution statute:

New York

This is not a complete list of all statues and it doesn’t qualify as a substitute for legal advice from an attorney.

(Credit to attorney Steven Sandler for the source I’m citing.)

If you want to better understand the law, I recommend starting at the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom’s (NCSF) write up. You can also check their legal resources tag.

If you’re outside the US, you can start on the BDSM and the law Wiki page which mentions the law in other countries. (You probably want to verify the sources, though.)

After that, I advise you to contact an attorney in your area. The type of attorney who is most-likely to be able to answer questions about this are criminal defense attorneys.

NCSF’s website also has a searchable database of kink-aware professionals, which includes lawyers. (Be sure you select at least a country or you will get zero results.) Please note that not every kink-aware professional in listed in this directory; only those who have submitted a request to be listed.

Temenos

Did you know that I have my own private dungeon, Temenos?

MistressTissa_Temenos10b

It is easily accessible and located in a safe neighborhood in the city of Philadelphia.

MistressTissa_Temenos_wm

It is intimate, sensual, and well equipped.

MistressTissa_Temenos13

Included are:

St Andrew’s Cross
Padded Seven-Foot Bondage Table and Cage
Padded Corporal Bench
Padded Adjustable Bondage Chair
Latex Vacbed
Full-Sized Velvet Couch
Mirrors
Antique Throne
Blindfolds
Hoods
Gags
Restraints
Rope
Pinwheels
Clips & Clamps
Genitorture Devices
Estim
Crops
Belts
Paddles
Canes
Beaters
Floggers
Whips
Suction Devices
Vibrators
Femme Wardrobe (limited) & Makeup

For more detail, please go to Temenos.

What’s that you say? You haven’t yet experienced a scene with me in my Temenos? Then you really should come for a visit…

Finding a Professional Domme

Last Update: March 30, 2020

Since FOSTA/SESTA was signed into law in April of 2018, pro Domme directories have disappeared. With that, people have been expressing dismay about where they can find Us. I have included some information below which may be useful to you in your search.

Please note:

  • Some information on the sites included in this list is not accurate. Those listed may have moved to another city, retired, or died. Inversely, some Dommes that are active and accepting clients may not be listed on any of them.
  • Because a Domme is listed on a site does not say anything about Her skill, Her professionalism, or Her ethics. Once you find someone you’re interested in, it’s wise to do further research. Ask other people if they know anything about a Domme if you’re not sure.
  • More sites which include US Dommes may be removed or disappear altogether as time goes on. This guide will be updated as needed.

In alphabetical order (site with US Dommes are in bold):

ALL STAR FEMDOMS: This is a curated list of FemDoms courtesy of scene veteran Ms. Irene Boss. Not all professional Dommes are listed here. According to Her mission statement: “the Ladies featured in this Directory are committed to practicing their craft at the highest level.”
Summary: Though Dommes are not organized in any way, it’s worth a look.

BACKPAGE: The site was used by a variety of Dommes to advertise — especially when traveling, it seemed. It was taken down by the US government in April of 2018.
Summary: Since the owners were arrested and charged, it’s unlikely to be resurrected.

COLLARSPACE: Originally called “CollarMe”, this site features an antiquated interface that resembles more of a dating site than a professional directory. Still, some professionals have pages here.
Summary: This may be more useful for people looking for a relationship with a kinky person or for some lifestyle play (though I hear that there are quite a lot of fakes and scammers on the site, so beware).

CRAIGSLIST: A much-used “all purpose” goods and services site. It included an adult personals section that was similar to Backpage. However, around the time FOSTA/SESTA was passed, the site decided to remove the entire personals section, obviously to avoid the same fate as Backpage. Some people have tried to go around this by using other sections, or post in other countries.
Summary: No longer a reliable source. If you do use it, beware of women who claim to be pro Dommes but are difficult or impossible to verify. Some may be law enforcement trying to entrap.

DICKIE VIRGIN: A well-known site for BDSM providers and events around the world run by “Dickie” and “Dixie”, who have a genuine and longtime dedication to pro Dommes. In early 2017, they began a free classifieds section for professionals. The Dommes who utilize it often post their travels.
Summary: A great source. Listings need to be approved, which is helpful to cut down on scammers. Since I don’t know how much they vet those who post ads, a possible fake could be listed. Make sure to cross reference.

DOMINA.MS: Includes a directory and a bulletin-board-style, moderated forum called “The Buzz”.
Summary: Though traffic isn’t high, a potential source.

DOMINA GUIDE: A global directory of professional Dommes since 2005. As of now, US Dommes are still included.
Summary: No word on if the site owner plans on removing US listings, but good for now.

EROS: A long-standing and popular site, due to its attractive interface and excellent customer service, that requires payment to be listed and will accept an ID to mark a Domme as “Eros Verified”. Unfortunately, it’s become increasingly difficult to use. The most recent issue is they no longer allow providers to include their websites in their ads. Several users around the country have reported that that they cannot get a listing published, their ads are being censored or flat-out removed, are unable to get their payments to successfully process (resulting in ads expiring and disappearing), and cannot get anyone to answer the phone or reply to emails. Some have expressed concern that since Eros’s call center was raided in November of 2017 that they may have been compromised by the US government and is tracking users. Some have also said they believe that law enforcement as creating fake listing to entrap users. It’s difficult to verify this, but it might be wise to exercise caution with this site.
Summary: Due to widespread difficulties with listings and service, and suspicions that it may not be run by or in cahoots with “authorities” some Dommes have stopped using it and therefore it’s no longer as reliable of a source at it once was. Still worth a look, but know that some pro Dommes that were once on the site may no longer be listed.

FEMME FATALE DIRECTORY: Updated and it is now “Femme Fatale Films”. Presumably a list of Dommes who identify as Femme Fatales. Some US Dommes are included. It appears that to be listed you must have a clip, which appears exclusive to the site. Membership is required to view them. Listings tend to include the Domme’s personal website. While it has some nice features, it’s overall not terribly developed and thus not easy to use. (This may be why there’s not a lot of Dommes listed here.) When I was exploring it, the map and search functions would not work.
Summary: The site still provides a selection of Dommes but now includes clips of those Dommes which can be viewed with a membership. See if it works for you. You might find the Femme Fatale you’re looking for.

FETLIFE: Fetlife describes itself as “Like Facebook, but run by kinksters”. Launched in 2008, it’s free to join and allows users to create personal profiles and participate in forums about a wide range of topics. Though you can use the site’s search function to look for people, it is intentionally not set up to make this easy. This is to discourage a “meat market” feel. Instead, you can use keywords, such as “pro domme”, to search for groups and look for Dommes that way.
Summary: Not a quick way to find Dommes, but may be useful for those who would like to find a more “lifestyle”, community feel in their search, and possibly some interaction with Dommes in forums before booking. Note: Though pro Dommes are allowed on the site, any discussion of what FetLife defines as “sex acts” (one being strap-on) in exchange for payment or goods can get you banned.

HOGSPY: An international directory and news source for professional Dommes. Payment is required to be included on the site. (Providing images without a watermark is also a requirement, which is a deal-breaker for some.) As of now, US Dommes are still included.
Summary: Limited selection, but worth a look. They do announce tours for the Dommes listed on their site.

MAX FISCH: A well-known Domme directory that has been around since the late 90s, I believe. Unfortunately, it’s been abandoned by its owner and hasn’t been updated since March of 2015. The bulletin-board-style forum “The Hang” is still used by some people, though it is unmoderated. You can still register an account if you’d like to ask questions about a Domme of interest. Reviews are posted.
Summary: Don’t rely on the directory to be accurate, but you can check the forum for info.

MISTRESS ELITE: A UK-centered site that includes a small selection of US Dommes. I found this site difficult to use. Very glitchy and went down while I was searching.
Summary: Give it a go, if you’d like, but you can probably find what you’re looking for elsewhere.

MISTRESS GUIDE: This is an international guide has been around since 2009. I believe it is based in Germany. US Dommes are still listed here. Fairly easy to navigate, but the presentation relies heavily on animated banners to advertise Dommes.
Summary: Covers many countries. Worth a look.

MISTRESS REVIEW: An international index which has been recently updated. Very nice interface. Unlike other directories, it allows users to leave reviews for Dommes directly on their pages.
Summary: Worth a look.

THE MISTRESS WEB: A site with a more modern interface and various “bells and whistles”. It allows you to search for a Domme based on location (including clicking on a map), physical characteristics, and interests. You can also register an account and keep a “Mistress Black Book”. Seems to have some useful functions, but I’m not sure how widely used the site is. Dommes are required to pay to be listed beyond a brief trial period. Includes a small selection of US Dommes.
Summary: Worth a look to see if it’s features are useful to you.

OPEN ADULT DIRECTORY: A long-time, global source for professional Dominas. Unfortunately, they no longer list anyone in the US. Useful but a very dated, 1990s-era interface of text-based links.
Summary: No longer can find US-based Dommes, but still useful for other countries.

PANDEMOS: An international directory “dedicated to the superior female since 2002”. US Dommes are still included.
Summary: Recently updated with a new and improved interface.

PRO DOMME: Light on the listings. According to its Twitter account, the site is going bye-bye.
Summary: Skip. No longer active.

SERIOUS MISTRESSES: An international directory of Mistresses. US Dommes are still listed here, but some of the listings are outdated. Interface is mostly text-based links.
Summary: Worth a look, but make sure you check to see if the listing is accurate.

SWITTER: A newer social media platform specifically for sex workers, which was set up off-shore specifically to circumvent potential legal issues. Though still in it’s early stages, it functions similarly to Twitter. You can search for Dommes in their listings section or by hashtag, e.g. #losangelesdominatrix. Their interface seems to keep improving. Very nice.
Summary: In a worst-case scenario where FOSTA/SESTA is strictly enforced and all these sites remove US listings or are taken down, this could become a good — and necessary — place to find Dommes.

TWITTER: A massive social media platform which has been criticized for censoring people in the adult industry with “shadowbanning” and account suspensions. Still, it’s used by most professionals. You can search for Dommes by name or by hashtag, e.g. #disciplinarian or #bondagemistress. (If someone is shadowbanned, you will not see them in your searches. Try finding Dommes through promotional accounts such as Oostwalum and terry.)
Summary: Since there’s quite a lot of pros who regularly use this site, it’s worth a look.

UNDER HER HEEL: While there are quite a lot of Dommes listed here, I found many who had long retired or who passed away.
Summary: Skip. There are more up-to-date directories. No longer active.

YOUR DOMINATRIX: A very sparse site. No longer lists US Dommes.
Summary: Not terribly useful. Skip this one. No longer active.

So, you’ve looked at all these directories and you still haven’t found what you’re looking for? Try using a search engine!

Use keywords like “Dominatrix” or “Mistress” and the city you’re looking for, e.g. “Tampa Mistress“. If you get too many hits, narrow it down further with a variety of keywords that pertain to your interests, e.g. “Tampa Disciplinarian” or “Tampa Mommy ABDL“. No one coming up for your interest(s) in your preferred city? Are you willing to travel? Trying searching a city that you’re willing to go to, such as: “Sarasota Disciplinarian” or “Orlando Mommy ABDL” or even “Florida Mistress“, as some people may enjoy the activities you are looking for but they may not be easily searchable or listed on their site.

Whatever you come up with, check to see if that Domme has a website, a social media presence, and reviews or testimonials. If she has none of those things, be very careful when booking a session with Her.

Good luck!

(Disclaimer: This list is provided for information purposes only and should not be seen as “promotion” or “facilitation” of “prostitution” or “trafficking” any more than the phone book is promoting its content.)

Testimonial from sam

“However hot you think Mistress Tissa is from looking at her photos, I promise you she is way hotter In person. she is also deceptively strong considering her slim frame. While she is strict and likes to test your limits, she is also respectful of them, and I felt very safe in her hands. I felt completely helpless from the moment she got a hold of me. And as soon as she trapped me, I was completely at her mercy. I traveled all the way from New York to see her, It was everything I had hoped for, and she more then exceeded my expectations. I will definitely be seeing her again soon.Sam”

[Source]

 

Eros.com / Eros Ads / Eros Guide

In case anyone had noticed and was wondering, My Eros ad has been down for almost a month. When it came time to renew, I suddenly couldn’t process a payment.

I have emailed them three times over the course of the month and they are not replying.

I have tried calling and their phone says they are not taking calls.

In the time I’ve used them have never not answered the phone, and it is very unlike them to not reply to email; they usually reply in less than 24 hours. They have always had fantastic customer service.

There are concerns that because of the new law, the site has been compromised. It could certainly explain the multiple complaints I’m hearing about ads being paid for and not being listed, ads disappearing, unreturned messages, and an inability to contact.

For now, you may wish to use caution with the site.

UPDATE: Payment finally went through and My ad is back up!

 

Booking a scene with Me while I’m attending DomCon

You may have noticed that I don’t travel a lot. Or if I do it’s more of the “leisure” variety. So, if you reside in the Los Angeles area and don’t come My way often (if at all), or you will be attending DomCon, and would like to have an experience with Me while I’m there between May 8th and 13th, here are some things to think about:MistressTissa_Sultry_crop

  1. Consider your scene. What you want to do might work better on different days or at different times. Note: I will not be taking any scenes over 4 hours.
    • May 8: Good for private dungeon scenes or a hotel scene. I am coming in a day early to offer scenes without the distraction of the convention. I’m willing to session from multiple dungeons in LA.
    • May 9 – 13 evenings: Good for hotel room scenes. Hotel rooms can be versatile but are especially good environments for roleplays that might feel better outside of some dungeon settings, such as domestic, bedroom, office, kidnap, interrogation. I will be attending the events during the morning and afternoon on these days, so My time will be limited to 8pm – midnight.
    • May 11 and 12 evenings: These are the nights of Sanctuary’s two play parties. These are busy events with people playing everywhere. These are best for people who want public scenes, such as exhibitionists and those looking for scenes involving humiliation and/or service.
  2. Consider My specialties. I’m a Domme who naturally has a wide variety of interests and skills, including a strong aptitude for understanding psychology. Some of My scene specialties are authentic Domination/power exchange (as opposed to service topping), emotional intensity, humiliation and degradation (from playful to ruthless), rough body play, “beatdowns”, impact, and psychodramas (My approach is realism over fetishism). I also offer unique takes through My practices of Foot Domination (as opposed to “Foot Worship”) and Sensual Sadism (what others may call “Tease and Denial”).MistressTissa_NippleBitch_c
  3. I’m open to scenes involving two or more Dommes. There will be a quite a lot of Dommes from all over the world attending the conference. This is one of those rare opportunities to scene with more than one Domme that might rarely — if ever — come in contact with one another. So, take advantage of what might be a one-time opportunity. If you have an idea of what Domme(s) you’d like Me co-conspiring with, let Me know and I’ll inquire if They’re available and interested in your scene.
  4. Book in advance. If you plan ahead a bit, you’re more likely to get the time you want and I can make sure I bring specific things to craft your scene. Also, I prefer it because I don’t like rushing. Art should not be rushed, dahling! 😉
  5. Be aware of deadlines. The latest I will be able to accept an application before I leave Philadelphia is May 5th. This allows one day to speak with you and pack what I need for our scene before I leave for Los Angeles. The 7th will be too late. Once I’ve left Philadelphia, you are welcome to inquire, but you will have to be content with whatever clothes, shoes, and gear I’ve decided to bring.

 

Feeling hesitant because you don’t feel like you know enough about Me? Take a look at My website.

Concerned that I may not be a good Domme? Take a look at My testimonials.

Ready to request a scene? Inquire here.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Mistress Tissa