Online Class Reformat

I’ve decided to change things a bit.

Instead of one course, I’m going to offer a “Kinky College” series:

BDSM 101: FOUNDATIONS will now become BDSM 201: PSYCHOLOGY.

BDSM 101: FOUNDATIONS will have a content change. New description:

This is no boring 101 class! Here you will learn the foundational elements of this thing we call “BDSM”, such as:

  • What exactly do we mean when we say “BDSM”? How is it different than “kink”?
  • Categories of play
  • What does it mean to be “lifestyle” or “professional”? Similarities and differences
  • Culture and Community: who, where, what, when, why

BDSM 201: PSYCHOLOGY will retain the same description and content:

This course will provide a rich and in-depth discussion of various psychological concepts fundamental to BDSM which are often confusing and misunderstood. This will provide a rock-solid foundation for genuine understanding and improved play and for beginners and experienced players alike. Some concepts include:

  • Understanding the difference between BDSM and abuse
  • Dominant/Top & submissive/bottom: how they differ from one another and why they are commonly confused
  • What is fetishism and how does it affect me
  • “Topping from the bottom” is real but it has nothing to do with topping
  • Fantasy or Reality: why you need to know where you’re at

I will also add two courses to the series:

BDSM 301: UNDERSTANDING AND NEGOTIATING YOURSELF

You’ve got a solid understanding of the psychology, but how do you fit in? In this course I will provide insight into figuring out your “Kink Personality” and how to effectively communicate that with whom you choose to play. Areas covered:

  • Figuring our your interests
  • Limits: The different types and how you can understand your own
  • Recognizing and developing your own playstyle
  • Negotiating your needs and desires into a scene

BDSM 401: SCENES

Now, you have all this information and you’re ready to play with someone, but you don’t know where to start! In this course I will help you get a better grasp on this process so you can feel confident going into — and coming out of — play. This includes:

  • What exactly is a “scene”?
  • Understanding how to conduct a scene that is right for you
  • Uh oh: How to recognize a problem and what to do about it
  • What is aftercare and why is it important

Unlike actual college, I will not make any of these a prerequisite for subsequent classes, however I do recommend taking the smaller numbered courses before the later ones because the content all ties in with each other and will be referenced throughout. Questions you may have on previous content may only be briefly addressed so as not to infringe on the current class.

For scheduling and to buy tickets, please visit my classes page.

N.B.: I will NOT be recording the classes. Instead, I will be repeating the series periodically.

The Word “Mistress”

When encountering Dominatrices you will see many of us use the title “Mistress”. While some of us love it, some feel quite differently, believing it is somehow insulting to a woman, her role and value. I want to clear that up.

Mistress is the femme version of Master. It was first used around the 14th century to denote a woman who rules in some way and has power. It is thought to have originated from the Middle English “maistresse”, which stemmed from the Anglo-French “mestresse”, which is the feminine of “mestre” which means “master”. (“Maîtresse” is the modern French derivative.)

As you can see below, this is and has been its primary meaning. The definition of a mistress as an “other woman” came much, much later.

Source

In BDSM terminology, though the word technically has a more specific meaning of a femme assuming the M role in an M/s dynamic, as opposed to a D/s dynamic, it is extensively and loosely self-assigned by women who are professional Dommes and switches, even if they are not engaging in that form of power exchange with their play partners.

Some Dommes don’t like and use the term because they believe it implies they’re somehow subservient to the man or a “side chick”. This is understandable given how it has been used as a pejorative term in modern culture. However, if a woman has many men coming to her, married or not, sometimes doing so at their own peril, how is she subservient? How is she not the one with power? Perhaps the “other woman” meaning is in fact more a reflection of the original definition of a woman who “possesses, own, or controls” than some are inclined to believe. 😉