Article: Kinky Sex Could Be the Secret to Your Success

“Many successful visionaries throughout history, from artists to scientists and even politicians, have had well-documented kinks and fetishes that affected how they operated in their daily lives.

A wave of recent research has confirmed this: If it’s something you desire in the first place, kinky sex can benefit you not just in the bedroom, but outside of it as well. “Unconventional” sexual practices and fantasies, such as BDSM, group sex, or role play, have been shown to reduce psychological stress, improve mental health and can help with satisfying and communicative relationships. Kinky people have also been found to have higher self-worth than those who are too afraid or ashamed to pursue their fantasies

People who engage in BDSM and kink have been found to be happier, more conscientious and less neurotic than people who don’t engage in so-called “deviant” sex. “

More confirmation of what many of us have known all along: kink is healthy and has tangible benefits.

Full article here: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12231118/how-kinky-sex-leads-to-career-success/ (worth the read)

You are not having 40 orgasms

You know when you hear people say they “make [their] girlfriend have 40 orgasms”? Or, “omg he made me cum a hundred times!”

Well, I have a newsflash for all of you: those are not orgasms you’re having because that is physiologically impossible.

Let’s start at the beginning. In the womb, we all begin with the “female” physical template. Different events occur to cause a body to develop “male”; hormones are one of them. From this template, we naturally have homologous body parts. “Homologous” means they have a shared point of origin.

Since these organs come from the same place in our physical development, they have similarities. Some of them are obvious, like arms and nipples, others are maybe a little less obvious, such as the clitoris and penis. If you look closely, you will notice that the clitoris resembles a tiny version of a penis (i.e. glans, “foreskin”, becomes erect). Or, really, a more correct way to look at it is that the penis is like an overgrown clitoris. (This is due to androgens that occur during development while in utero.)

Another homologous part is the outer labia and scrotum. For “female”-bodied people, the outer labia are separate; and, for “male”-bodied people, they fuse to form the scrotal sack into which the testes descend (they were ovaries before they dropped). Yes, this is why you have a line down the middle of your sack: it’s the seam from your former labia.

The point of this is: our genitals come from the same stuff and work more similarly than people tend to think. (If you want to know more, read up on the development of human reproductive organs and sexual differentiation.)

Now, because they work similarly, the orgasm that a female-bodied person has is like the one a male-bodied person has. The clitoris, like the penis, usually, but not always, needs direct stimulation in order to have one. Orgasms, regardless of one’s sex, have the same stages of excitation, plateau, climax, and resolution. The muscle contractions that occur during the “throes” are also similar and, though some argue about this, some people with a vagina ejaculate similarly to those with a penis. However, they don’t gush like they do in porn; that’s just for show. (Sorry to burst your bubble.)

So, why do people say they cum “a hundred times”? I believe it’s because they’ve actually never experienced an orgasm. I hate to say it but I think a number of women don’t actually know what one feels like. So, they are confusing those rushes of pleasure that one can get during sexual stimulation with an actual orgasm. See, it’s not uncommon for people with the clitoris/vagina combo to have difficulty achieving one, so when someone who’s never had an orgasm feels those pleasure rushes they may mistake those for climax and that’s why they think they had one hundred of them.

Orgasm is not a confusing experience. It may be confusing as to how to get there, but once you do, it’s unmistakable. The signs you’re on your way?

  • As you move closer, your heart rate and breathing increase, and your skin flushes.
  • Without manual stimulation, your nipples became more and more erect. This is true for people of all sexes — unless someone has nerve damage which may prohibit this. (This is also a good way to see that in most porn, women aren’t actually having orgasms. Look at their nipples. If they’re not erect when they’re squeaking about cumming all over the guys cock, they’re just acting.)
  • Things get juicier. The vagina’s lubricants increase. “Pre-cum” is the penis’s contribution to lubrication.
  • During climax, the vaginal muscles contract rhythmically; it feels like they grip and squeeze. Male-bodied people experience this rhythmic contraction in their penile muscles near their anal area.
  • Once it’s over? You are out of breath, probably sweating somewhere, your clit or penis becomes very sensitive to touch, your clit or penis loses its erection, and your interest in sex makes a sharp decline. You may even want to roll over and take a nap.

That said, I am quite aware that it is possible for people to be “multi-orgasmic”, but being “multi-orgasmic” is not 40 fucking orgasms. Have you ever heard a male-bodied person say they came 40 times during one instance of sex? No. And a lot of them would probably look at you funny; maybe even laugh at the idea.

Then what does “multi-orgasmic” mean? In My extensive experience, you will only need one hand to count. If you know your body well and know how to ration your sexual energy — or you just have a surplus of it — you may be able to artfully rub out like 2 to 4 in a short amount of time, but any more than that seems 99.999% impossible. (I don’t know any cis men or trans women who have shared with Me their experience with being multi-orgasmic, so I can’t say how it works for them.)

Speaking for Myself, when I’m feeling especially sexually charged, I can do about 3 in five to ten minutes before they lose nearly all of the intensity that makes them desirable and before I lose all, or nearly all, sexual interest. Normally, though, I have one. I know My body so well and know how to harness the energy and channel it, that I make it one very good one and I don’t really feel the need to have three not-as-good ones.

Of course, as with anyone’s experience, YMMV. Feel free to share how you differ, or are the same.

NB: I prefer to write from a trans-inclusive perspective so I try to separate the body type from the gender identity that goes with it. If I say “female-bodied”, I’m referring to AFAB/cis women/trans men and “male-bodied” to speak of AMAB/cis men/trans women. I realize that “female-bodied” and “male-bodied” can be problematic labels for trans men and trans women, respectively, and that trans* and gender-variant people may use different language and have different experiences. I also say “vagina” and “penis” to describe the conventional anatomical description for these body parts. I am not including the ways in which trans* and gender-variant people may use other language which is comfortable for them (e.g. manhole, boipussy, clitty, gurlcock, etc).