Policy change: deposits

Due to an increase in same-day cancellations, effective immediately, new clients without satisfactory professional references who are booking sessions 1 hour or greater will be required to pay a 50% deposit. Clients with excellent professional references will be allowed to pay My standard deposit. (30 minute sessions have their own protocol.)

The reason for this change is of the people who cancel same-day nearly all of them are inexperienced and/or without references. My belief is they do not understand when we agree to session, we are both committing to that session; and just like they expect Me to follow through, I expect them to follow through as well.

When someone cancels on the day of the session it causes Us problems. If these cancellations occur consecutively, the problems increase. While I absolutely welcome new players, I cannot sustain My livelihood by not safeguarding Myself against the these patterns of behavior.

As usual, the deposit is always applied to your tribute in full. This means if you are asked to pay a $125 deposit, all $125 goes toward the total tribute. This policy change does NOT ask you to pay more overall; only put down more to confirm.

My protocol around cancellations and rescheduling remains the same.

THANK YOU to all the clients who follow through on your commitments. You are very much appreciated.

Mistress Tissa’s Lexicon: Boner High

Boner High: The effects in perception and judgment due to sexual arousal. This can be expressed¬†positively and¬†negatively. (For My non-English readers who aren’t aware, “boner” is a slang word for an erection.)

When someone is sexually aroused it is usually accompanied by a motivation to seek out a way to release the tension that builds from this arousal. The good thing that can come from this is that it can add fuel to a hot fantasy,¬†open minds to try new things, expand consciousness, and make for more satisfying sexual experiences. The bad thing is that people may do all sorts of stupid shit while under its influence — from the slightly embarrassing to the criminal. Lives can be and have been forever changed from impulsive behavior due to its effects.

One effect is that it tends to change the way people perceive reality. This is similar to what a drug can do. One’s focus becomes very singular: fulfillment of the “need”. Blinders go on and everything else is drowned out. There is often an rise in poor manners and judgment, feelings of entitlement, double standards, and misunderstanding, ignoring, or even violating the boundaries of others. People may say or do anything in order to satiate their need — even at their own peril.

For example, one of My policies for all new clients is that they must put a deposit down on a session. The primary reason why I, and many other Dommes, require this is because of the prevalence of Boner High. What happens is: people begin fantasizing, get aroused, want relief, contact a Dominatrix to set-up a session, and then between the time they set it up and the time it’s supposed to happen, the sexual tension becomes too unbearable and they find release. Sometimes the act of making the appointment is actually the culmination of the high, if not just talking to the Domme. Therefore, once the tension has been released, the session is no longer desired (if it ever truly was) and so they don’t show up or cancel. As professionals, we obviously can’t sustain our livelihood by allowing ourselves to be subject to the negative effects of Boner High. (I do love the positive effects, though.) Putting down money shows us you’re serious and thinking with more than your Boner. And if you’re not? Well, that’s your responsibility, not Ours.

Protocol updates

I’ve had some shit happen lately which is really boner killing. That means improvements must be made to ensure My satisfaction. you want a satisfied Mistress, don’t you? Of course you do, sluts!

REMINDER: My protocol is that a deposit must be paid BEFORE I do any reference checking or vetting. I have not been strict enforcing this. Now I am, effective immediately.


  1. No more long consults without tribute. If a brief conversation doesn’t suffice, then we will have to continue on a tributed basis. If you want to try to avoid a longer call, spend more time on your app. The more organized and articulate you are, the less I have to do these things for you. This does not mean I want your life story in your app, it just means be clear about what you are and are not looking for.
  2. Deposits are now 20-25% of the total tribute. Nothing else has changed.

Why am I doing this? I have been supremely generous with My time, making a sincere effort to speak with people — sometimes at great length — about their interests, limits, and health considerations, as well as checking references or safely vetting them into the professional circle. Despite the time and work involved, I have done this extensively without asking for any tribute up-front. This is rare in professional BDSM. Some Dommes refuse to speak to anyone without tribute. Now, while most people have been very respectful of My time and prompt to pay deposits, allowing Me to be more lax with this, I’ve had some issues recently which have prompted Me to make some changes to ferret out the disingenuous sluts.