Expressing Your Inner Femme

Are you aching to explore your inner femme? Or are a seasoned femme who loves to express this with a FemDom who genuinely enjoys it? L’Autel De La Femme is my signature approach to femme expression and play (aka “feminization”). This is one of my favorite activities and specialties. I have experience with those who are nervously trying it for the very first time to those who are seasoned femmes ready to get dressed for a night out on the town.

I’m an excellent match for those who wish to discover and explore this part of themselves with someone who is truly nonjudgmental and gets it. Whether you just want to put on a pair of panties or you want head-to-toe changes, you don’t just want someone who can dress you up, you want someone who actually understands the deeper psychological and philosophical aspects of gender identity and expression, is competent understanding your needs and desires, and knows how to effectively include them in a kinky scene that leaves you feeling sexy and energized.

My approach is unusual with FemDoms in that I do not use femme as something to humiliate and degrade. Instead, it is used to elevate, celebrate, and even to evolve one’s consciousness. It is used to help those who are guys, dudes, chaps, blokes, assigned male at birth (AMAB), butch men, butch women, non-binary, femme-reluctant and non-femmes discover and reclaim their often shamed, fragmented, and compartmentalized femme selves. This has been a signature aspect of my practice since I began.

I’m enthusiastically all-inclusive and welcome any sex, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, color, nationality, religion, body type, (dis)ability, and legal age.

I have many things in many sizes to transform you into the cute, pretty, beautiful, elegant, sexy, and/or slutty femme you are curious about, long to be, or already are! Including various wigs, lingerie, bras, garter belts, panties, stockings, breastforms & breastplates, corsets, petticoats, pumps & boots, and a full line of makeup for complexions ranging from pale to dark.

L’Autel De La Femme

I offer several session options. From partial to full transforms, a variety of kinky play before and once in you’re en femme; as well as shopping, dining, and dancing together. Yes, you are absolutely welcome and encouraged to go out en femme with me!

For more detail, please visit: https://www.mistresstissa.com/femme

Some testimonials from those with whom I have explored femme:

“The whole experience was great … I knew that I belonged there, that I belonged to You! In our session there was nothing fake or superficial, no stereotyped performance. You looked into my soul and took control and made me feel like an elegant, beautiful, and slutty woman without humiliation or degradation. The mood and atmosphere was emotional and intimate! The energy level made me shake with excitement even after I left Your dungeon. Everything pleasurable, positive and good!!! … It was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. … I’m so glad I contacted you.” – denise

“I feel safe there and that means a lot to me.” – samantha

“I loved our time together.  This was surely  the best BDSM experience I have ever had. You are erotically intoxicating to me and you are a virtuoso at your art. …I’m still a little high, feeling contemplative, unworried and at peace.”– slut michelle

“Thank You so much for yesterday. It was by far the best session I’ve had with you. … Thoroughly enjoyed everything … it’s the first time I dressed completely femme and for that I’m grateful. … Almost everything I experienced in the session yesterday was a first and that is only due to your expertise, creativity  and skill – as I don’t consider myself a novice. You were fantastic! – Kaladhar

“I loved my experience You brought out the real me – and it felt good.” – Heather

“i’m still in a state of awe about yesterday. First and foremost, thank You. … Amazingly enough, yesterday was one of the first times i really actually loved myself. i go through a ton of self-frustration because i never quite feel “myself,” … It’s like walking around always feeling like i just don’t fit. Yesterday, i felt like i fit. It was incredible.” – mvb

“Mistress, last night’s session changed my life. I am still reeling from it. I feel like a totally changed person today. Never in my wildest dreams have I ever imagined being taken like that. Its changed my whole outlook. I know I can’t ever go back to the way I was. I can’t thank you enough.” – f, lifestyle session

My hijra slave

Kaladhar came to serve as my hijra slave and slut.

I have some sarees so I put them in one that was beautiful fuchsia silk with gold.

I then painted their lips shiny red.

MistressTissa_Hijra

There was much we did, most of which was not documented as I was too engrossed in the scene, but I’ll highlight the breast play.

I laid my hijra down on the table and pumped their breasts nice and large for me…

MistressTissa_BreastPump

Then, I tied them for my enjoyment…

MistressTissa_BreastBondage

I couldn’t resist pinching my slut’s nipples…

MistressTissa_NipplePinch

And the way my hijra melted and moaned under my touch, it was clear they enjoyed it, too.

Later that evening, they sent my a lovely email:

“i had an incredibly great time and You’re incredible in Your craft. i felt incredibly vulnerable, yet safe in Your presence while serving You. i really enjoyed how deliberate You were in incorporating the hijra identity into the play and reinforcing it at perfect times. Thank You again for letting me experience many new things such as having my breasts and nipples suctioned, putting on a saree, having my lips painted red, the incredible breast bondage, [omitted for privacy], and Your extremely sensual play with my nipples and breasts. i’ll always be grateful to You for granting me many such memories i’ll cherish for a long time. i will not hesitate in strongly recommending You to anyone who seeks to explore their submissive side…

Thank you, Kaladhar! As usual, it was delightful having you.

Femme Exploration

If you’re a man who is interested in exploring your “feminine” or “femme” side you may feel embarrassed or ashamed. Though it’s common to feel this way, you don’t have to. You can release the fear or shame you carry about exploring yourself as a whole human being.

Why do you feel so embarrassed or ashamed? One reason stems from the way men are socialized. Men are taught to believe that comparisons to women — whether in the tone or cadence of their voice, body shape, clothing preference, or mannerisms —  are emasculating and ultimately an indicator of their lack of authenticity and value as a man and person. In short: if you are in any way like a woman, you are defective; you aren’t “man enough”.

I’m here to tell you: none of it is true. You have been lied to.

You may feel that the entirety of the construct of “male” doesn’t apply to you. Or maybe just some of it. You may feel that you’d prefer to act or dress differently. Even if only on special occasions. You might want to have different interests and hobbies. Express your emotions freely. But you feel trapped by the expectation that’s been created for you.

Know this: the template that men are assigned to is only someone’s idea about who they think you should be. And it is likely in some way rooted in their need to control the existence of others to compensate for the fears they have about their own. The great news? You don’t need to let someone else’s fears become yours too and rule your life.

So you think you’d like to explore your femme self but you have some apprehensions. You don’t know where to start. You’re afraid you might be judged. You feel like you might not relate to what you see other men do, so you think that maybe it’s not your thing.

If you would like to explore these parts of yourself with someone you can feel safe with, I welcome you. You are free to be who you are without fear that you will be mocked or judged. In fact, I explicitly state under femme/feminization on my interests page that, unlike the typical approach to “feminization”, I don’t do any femme play as a form of humiliation. Aside from my not seeing femme as anything to be degraded for, but as one way of being beautiful and sexy, I find it antithetical to Female Dominance.

I’m highly competent with this idea we call “gender” and the way in which it can be expressed. I have spent a lot of time both working with people who have unconventional ideas about their gender or don’t feel the identity they’ve been assigned applies to them, to having done a lot of thinking about the phenomenological and epistemological aspects of identity, including gender and sexuality, and how I personally feel about and relate to them.

My awareness extends from the commonly-understood constructs of “male”, “female”, “masculine”, “feminine”, “androgynous”, etc.; to the fusion of seemingly contradictory concepts like “boydyke” or “girlfag”; to gender not actually being a real thing.

If you see how others express their “feminine” or “femme” selves and you feel alienated, it’s important to know that “femme” is a range of expression. It doesn’t have to be done in stereotypical ways or with hyperfeminine clothing, as is commonly depicted in BDSM.

This means it doesn’t have to be:

  • You assuming a female persona. That is: men can wear lingerie, be sexy, be slutty, and NOT have to become “women” to do it. You can retain your identity as a male person and wear panties, stockings, bra, makeup, eyelashes, heels, etc. (Though it’s okay if you do want to be your “female” self.)
  • Include anything pink. Love red? White? Black? Blue? Gold? Your expression of femme can be any color you like.
  • Include anything frilly, lacey, with ribbons, or otherwise “cutesy”. This is what I mean by “hyperfeminine”. It sort of like taking stereotypically girly things and turning it up to 13. The effect is you looking like a doll or child or wedding cake. Again, if you genuinely like this, wonderful, but it’s not necessarily what femme looks or feels like to everyone. (In fact, it doesn’t for the vast majority of femme/female-identified people.)
  • A “full transformation”. Though some people want to spend hours transforming their appearance from head to toe, others just want to put on lipstick or panties or heels.

Here’s some images that depict a range of femme expression by men (or at least people who were likely assigned male at birth):

Expressing yourself in a femme way also doesn’t mean:

  • You’re confused about your identity as a man
  • You’re a “sissy”
  • You’re really a woman
  • You’re gay (panties or heels don’t make you gay, they make you pretty)
  • You’re “weak”
  • You deserve ridicule

How you explore your femme side can be as lighthearted or as deep as you want it to be. It can be the entire focus of our session or it can be almost a “non-issue”, like your hair or eye color. This means your femme expression can range from highly eroticized (you sexy slut in your pretty panties and garter belt) to devoid of intentional eroticism (you’re wearing panties, sure, but this is really about me tying you down until you can’t move a muscle).

Whatever feels good, I’d love to facilitate an experience for you!

MistressTissa_PBPanties