Listening is easy. Just follow the link in the tweet.
[Clean link is here]
The interview will be loosely structured, so I’m unsure about everything that will be discussed, but some topics mentioned are: power dynamics in BDSM, “topping from the bottom”, the influence of Patriarchy on BDSM and gender play, and more.
It will be a live video feed.
UPDATE: Due to my illness, this discussion will be postponed. A new date will be announced shortly.
She came to me wanting to be a better femme.
After showing her some techniques, I wanted to enforce my lessons.
Sometimes a girl needs a little discipline.
Kaladhar came to serve as my hijra slave and slut.
I have some sarees so I put them in one that was beautiful fuchsia silk with gold.
I then painted their lips shiny red.
There was much we did, most of which was not documented as I was too engrossed in the scene, but I’ll highlight the breast play.
I laid my hijra down on the table and pumped their breasts nice and large for me…
Then, I tied them for my enjoyment…
I couldn’t resist pinching my slut’s nipples…
And the way my hijra melted and moaned under my touch, it was clear they enjoyed it, too.
Later that evening, they sent my a lovely email:
“i had an incredibly great time and You’re incredible in Your craft. i felt incredibly vulnerable, yet safe in Your presence while serving You. i really enjoyed how deliberate You were in incorporating the hijra identity into the play and reinforcing it at perfect times. Thank You again for letting me experience many new things such as having my breasts and nipples suctioned, putting on a saree, having my lips painted red, the incredible breast bondage, [omitted for privacy], and Your extremely sensual play with my nipples and breasts. i’ll always be grateful to You for granting me many such memories i’ll cherish for a long time. i will not hesitate in strongly recommending You to anyone who seeks to explore their submissive side…
Thank you, Kaladhar! As usual, it was delightful having you.
If you’re a man who is interested in exploring your “feminine” or “femme” side you may feel embarrassed or ashamed. Though it’s common to feel this way, you don’t have to. You can release the fear or shame you carry about exploring yourself as a whole human being.
Why do you feel so embarrassed or ashamed? One reason stems from the way men are socialized. Men are taught to believe that comparisons to women — whether in the tone or cadence of their voice, body shape, clothing preference, or mannerisms — are emasculating and ultimately an indicator of their lack of authenticity and value as a man and person. In short: if you are in any way like a woman, you are defective; you aren’t “man enough”.
I’m here to tell you: none of it is true. You have been lied to.
You may feel that the entirety of the construct of “male” doesn’t apply to you. Or maybe just some of it. You may feel that you’d prefer to act or dress differently. Even if only on special occasions. You might want to have different interests and hobbies. Express your emotions freely. But you feel trapped by the expectation that’s been created for you.
Know this: the template that men are assigned to is only someone’s idea about who they think you should be. And it is likely in some way rooted in their need to control the existence of others to compensate for the fears they have about their own. The great news? You don’t need to let someone else’s fears become yours too and rule your life.
So you think you’d like to explore your femme self but you have some apprehensions. You don’t know where to start. You’re afraid you might be judged. You feel like you might not relate to what you see other men do, so you think that maybe it’s not your thing.
If you would like to explore these parts of yourself with someone you can feel safe with, I welcome you. You are free to be who you are without fear that you will be mocked or judged. In fact, I explicitly state under femme/feminization on my interests page that, unlike the typical approach to “feminization”, I don’t do any femme play as a form of humiliation. Aside from my not seeing femme as anything to be degraded for, but as one way of being beautiful and sexy, I find it antithetical to Female Dominance.
I’m highly competent with this idea we call “gender” and the way in which it can be expressed. I have spent a lot of time both working with people who have unconventional ideas about their gender or don’t feel the identity they’ve been assigned applies to them, to having done a lot of thinking about the phenomenological and epistemological aspects of identity, including gender and sexuality, and how I personally feel about and relate to them.
My awareness extends from the commonly-understood constructs of “male”, “female”, “masculine”, “feminine”, “androgynous”, etc.; to the fusion of seemingly contradictory concepts like “boydyke” or “girlfag”; to gender not actually being a real thing.
If you see how others express their “feminine” or “femme” selves and you feel alienated, it’s important to know that “femme” is a range of expression. It doesn’t have to be done in stereotypical ways or with hyperfeminine clothing, as is commonly depicted in BDSM.
This means it doesn’t have to be:
- You assuming a female persona. That is: men can wear lingerie, be sexy, be slutty, and NOT have to become “women” to do it. You can retain your identity as a male person and wear panties, stockings, bra, makeup, eyelashes, heels, etc. (Though it’s okay if you do want to be your “female” self.)
- Include anything pink. Love red? White? Black? Blue? Gold? Your expression of femme can be any color you like.
- Include anything frilly, lacey, with ribbons, or otherwise “cutesy”. This is what I mean by “hyperfeminine”. It sort of like taking stereotypically girly things and turning it up to 13. The effect is you looking like a doll or child or wedding cake. Again, if you genuinely like this, wonderful, but it’s not necessarily what femme looks or feels like to everyone. (In fact, it doesn’t for the vast majority of femme/female-identified people.)
- A “full transformation”. Though some people want to spend hours transforming their appearance from head to toe, others just want to put on lipstick or panties or heels.
Here’s some images that depict a range of femme expression by men (or at least people who were likely assigned male at birth):
Expressing yourself in a femme way also doesn’t mean:
- You’re confused about your identity as a man
- You’re a “sissy”
- You’re really a woman
- You’re gay (panties or heels don’t make you gay, they make you pretty)
- You’re “weak”
- You deserve ridicule
How you explore your femme side can be as lighthearted or as deep as you want it to be. It can be the entire focus of our session or it can be almost a “non-issue”, like your hair or eye color. This means your femme expression can range from highly eroticized (you sexy slut in your pretty panties and garter belt) to devoid of intentional eroticism (you’re wearing panties, sure, but this is really about me tying you down until you can’t move a muscle).
Whatever feels good, I’d love to facilitate an experience for you!
I know you might feel shy. Embarrassed. Maybe even a little silly.
I assure you that you need not.
I know who you are…or who you’re hiding…or who you want to become.
You disrobe for Me.
I move closer to you and present you with a pair of silky smooth stockings or fishnets….
You pull them up, against your skin…
They feel soooo good.
Then, sexy panties glide up and gently nestle your most vulnerable parts.
I slide a pretty garter belt atop your hips…and we attach your stockings together…
Would you like that? Would you like to be pretty for me? Would you like to look sexy for your Mistress?
Do you ache to be My pretty boy? My sweet sissy? My plaything? My slut?
Does it make your cock or clitty throb to know you’re pleasing your Mistress?
Get on your knees, My sweet sexy toy, and…
Good boy…good girl…good slut.
I WELCOME people of any:
I have experience playing with people who are…
- cis men, trans men, cis women, trans women, genderqueer, genderfluid, non-binary, gender non-confirming, etc.
- hetero men, gay men, lesbians, bisexual, pansexual, queer, etc.
- African American, Latinx, Arab, South American, African, Caucasian, Asian, etc.
- Pagan, Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, Atheist, Jewish, Hindu
- ages 18 to 79 (and everything between)
- voluptuous, skinny, swimmer’s build, muscular, large, tall, short, depressed, anxious, personality “disordered”, autistic, bipolar, PTSD, etc.
You can feel safe exploring and expressing your identity and sexuality, regardless of whatever combination of the above you are.
I had the pleasure of welcoming mvb into My Temenos for the first time.
After spending some time making this slut sexy for Me…
(notice her panties through her negligee)
…I began the process of showing her how she should expect to be My pleasure doll…
…on the table…
(look at that luscious ass)
…and on the floor…
(where I dominated her physically before forcing her to rub her clit for Me)
To My delight, she is a eager and insatiable doll. Our three hours went by much too quickly.
A bit of what she wrote to Me the next day:
i’m still in a state of awe about yesterday. First and foremost, thank You. … Amazingly enough, yesterday was one of the first times i really actually loved myself. i go through a ton of self-frustration because i never quite feel “myself,” … It’s like walking around always feeling like i just don’t fit. Yesterday, i felt like i fit. It was incredible.”
After I restrained her, I had a little fun torturing her cock and nipples before I went on to…
…what do you think I did?
From the moment I walked in to Mistress Tissa’s I felt comfortable. This had not been the case on my way or even in the weeks leading up to our meeting. I had been nervous and self conscious. Mistress let me in, sat me down and we talked through our scene one last time. I wanted to enjoy a femme session, dressed completely in an outfit that I brought just for the occasion.
Mistress Tissa allowed me to get changed, then present myself when ready in her Temenos. I put on some tasteful panties, sheer and comfortable, black fishnet stockings, a bustier with garters, my favorite plum colored dress – sleek, shiny, and very tight. To complete the look I put on my blond wig, high heels, and a bit of pink lip gloss.
Walking to Her Temenos my nerves came back, but I quickly composed myself as I knocked on the door. Upon her permission I entered. It was all at once very overwhelming. The smell of the place made me instantly aroused and there was so much to look at. I did not get a chance to take in my surroundings however as Mistress Tissa was on me with questions and orders. In my confused and overwhelmed state I answered as best I could why I had come to see her. I could hardly remember what I had come for but it would all come back as she had me kneel before her and calmly explain myself as she put a collar tightly around my neck and attached a leash.
I had never been leashed before but it instantly calmed me. I now knew that I was no longer in charge. Mistress Tissa told me sternly to “FOLLOW” and I surprised myself with how quickly and completely I complied. Even in the tight dress I was able to get onto my hands and knees and crawl behind her. This was my first look at Mistress Tissa’s amazing body from behind. A slave needs little more motivation, but She showed me plenty of other reasons to comply.
I was put atop her cage for a thorough and humiliating inspection. She checked me literally from tip to toe, her gloved hands reaching into my panties, then to my lips, applying my own fluids as a little touch of lipstick. It was here that I made my first mistake in saying that I had applied my own lipstick and she gently cooed at me “let me see, kneel and face me”. She laughed and said that it was barely visible and that she would show me how lipstick should be applied. She reached into a nearby bag and pulled out a very red shade. After I expressed my concern about not being able to get the lipstick off, she laughed and instructed me to hold my mouth as if I were about to be kissed. The lipstick covered the other words that were on my lips, the “what if’s” and the other words of worry.
I was left with a shiny pair of lips for Mistress Tissa to use at her discretion.
Placing me back on all fours, Mistress Tissa took what was left of my manhood and bound it in pretty pink ribbons, tightly tied, pulled back and strapped to a butt-plug, holding it in place no matter how I struggled. I would suffer in this state as she led me off of the cage and now onto a lower platform to have my hands brought above my head and tied firmly to the ceiling.
Comfortable and able to relax my bound arms Mistress Tissa took me to task with a number of implements. She started rather lightly with two floggers. My back and ass were warmed from the repeated and fast strokes. After taking some time with them, Mistress placed them on the table in front of me, then slowly walked to her wall of implements to select another. She moved slowly, always walking so close in front of me I felt I could taste her. I wished that someone would relieve me from the bonds of the ribbon and the plug that was held in place. But it was not to be for some time as She pulled my panties down and gave me many more rounds. A light whipping with a light cloth whip and stung, then at least 20 firm strokes with a wide leather belt. As the belt landed heavily she had me say “I am your slut” followed by another, harder slap.
After the thick belt had taken it’s measure, Mistress kindly reminded me that I had expressed interest in the single tail whip. The very mention of it had me squirming in fear and anticipation. To be whipped is absolutely a fantasy. To be whipped by Her, I could hardly wait. And eventually she took one off the wall and started into me slowly. At first I was surprised at how little it hurt. And as the strokes continued and the intensity increased I could barely take the pain. I held back on my safe word as she whipped me, reminding myself over and over that I was hers and I should be taking what she gives me. As I am not allowed to touch her, I settled for her touching me, like this. For me, a whipping of a lifetime as sweat developed on my face and then she was done with whipping me.
It was all so much. I couldn’t believe that I had already lived so many fantasies. I was here, dressed as a woman, made to tell my deepest fantasy, then lipstick, now a whipping. And Mistress was not even done with me yet.
She took to a place where I would need my safe word and it tasted delicious coming out of my mouth. The ultimate in surrender, giving up to Her. And how I can to use it was most embarrassing.
On top of the cage again, she bound my hands and pulled me forward so that I was bent over, ass exposed. She then tied each leg, wide apart and pronounced “you’re not going anywhere,” and I knew I wasn’t. Even if I wanted to I could not move. Mistress relieved my aching ass, removing the intruding plug. I tingled in its absence.
Mistress Tissa then took her time preparing a rather large strap-on. I could see the shadow of the erection at first, then she walked purposefully in front of me and I almost wept with anticipation. Squirming and writhing against the cage I wanted contact, so as she walked by I reached for her with the only thing I could – my mouth. And that was a terrible mistake. She took no pity as she came to the edge of the table, pulled my head close to her and forced me to take the covered cock into my mouth. The pleasant taste of chocolate had me eagerly sucking at first, then I wished I never knew the taste as she forced me to take more and more of it, deeper and deeper, then faster and faster until she was fucking my mouth as I gagged and drooled. I can’t be sure the exact words that Mistress Tissa used while she relentlessly entered my lipsticked mouth, but I did my best to comply until she was done using me in that way. And she did not finish quickly, but would stop for moments at a time, then come back to my mouth and continue the humiliation.
Once I had sufficiently lubricated the obscene thing, she brought it around to my tied ass and introduced me to the sensation of getting fucked slowly. The device was wider than I thought it would be and I felt that terrific and awful feeling of my ass being pulled beyond what it would take. Mistress Tissa felt me tense and moved slowly for a bit. She calmed me as she made me slowly take the rest in stages, thrusting, then pulling out, then pushing back in further. This played out until I felt her thighs against mine and she pressed hard into me. I could hardly take it and she encouraged me to be a good little slut and take the whole thing for her.
I did not want to let her down so even as I felt it going in as deep as anything could into my body, I held strong. And Mistress sped up and took my ass like I had never felt. She made me repeatedly tell her that I was a whore as she took me. I could feel the cage move below me as she pushed into me. Mistress Tissa is no delicate flower. And that’s when I had to give in. As she was thrusting into me, telling me what a whore I was, I had to use my safe word as I could not take the deepest fucking I have ever had. I trembled as she let me go. I had been fucked to my very completion. I felt humiliated, thoroughly used, and utterly satisfied. And when asked “how does your ass feel?” the best I could come up with was “good”. Thankfully she gave me another chance to answer and I answered honestly “thoroughly used, Mistress”.
At this moment I thought that I would be thrown out of the Temenos and never spoken to again, but Mistress Tissa had one last embarrassing task for me. I knelt in front of her as she sat in her chair one last time. She finally freed me from the binds of the pink ribbon and I felt like a different person. She then made me stroke myself for her. Right there, only inches away from her face she instructed me on how to rub myself…
…until I was ready to receive her offering. And what an offering it was!