Obey Mistress Tissa

If you were here, I would strip you of your clothes and force you to your knees.

Looking down at you, I would remind you that you you are owned by My masterful mind, My beautiful face, My gorgeous tits, My fantastic ass, My delectable feet, and My Alpha essence.

As you look up at Me, towering above you, you would nod, mouth slightly agape, and mumble, “Yes, Mistress…”

“I see that tiny cock of yours twitching.”

you reflexively look down.

SLAP!

My hand strikes your face.

“Keep your eyes on Me, slave!”

you tremble and whisper, “Yes, Mistress. I’m sorry, Mistress…”

Now that I have you on your knees, what are you going to lay at my feet, slut?”

Masks have a lot of roleplay potential

You’re innocently walking down a dank and dimly lit alley when suddenly your sight goes dark as a hood is forced over your head. You’re shoved around and, by sound of your shoes echoing off the walls, into some concrete structure.

You’re forced into a seated position. Your hood is removed and, with a fearful glance around the room, you find yourself in some kind of torture chamber.

You eyes meet mine and…

…and you see the delight of a huntress than has just captured her prey.

“My newest victim,” I whisper.

“I hope you don’t have anyone waiting for you at home because I’m going to be keeping you here for a long, long time…”

The Word “Mistress”

When encountering Dominatrices you will see many of us use the title “Mistress”. While some of us love it, some feel quite differently, believing it is somehow insulting to a woman, her role and value. I want to clear that up.

Mistress is the femme version of Master. It was first used around the 14th century to denote a woman who rules in some way and has power. It is thought to have originated from the Middle English “maistresse”, which stemmed from the Anglo-French “mestresse”, which is the feminine of “mestre” which means “master”. (“Maîtresse” is the modern French derivative.)

As you can see below, this is and has been its primary meaning. The definition of a mistress as an “other woman” came much, much later.

Source

In BDSM terminology, though the word technically has a more specific meaning of a femme assuming the M role in an M/s dynamic, as opposed to a D/s dynamic, it is extensively and loosely self-assigned by women who are professional Dommes and switches, even if they are not engaging in that form of power exchange with their play partners.

Some Dommes don’t like and use the term because they believe it implies they’re somehow subservient to the man or a “side chick”. This is understandable given how it has been used as a pejorative term in modern culture. However, if a woman has many men coming to her, married or not, sometimes doing so at their own peril, how is she subservient? How is she not the one with power? Perhaps the “other woman” meaning is in fact more a reflection of the original definition of a woman who “possesses, own, or controls” than some are inclined to believe. 😉

Training

Interested in receiving training from an authentic Mistress and professional Dominatrix?

I offer personalized training for individuals and couples in a wide variety of activities for submissives, slaves, bottoms, and/or fetishists. I typically do not train Dominants except in the case of a couple where the Dominant would like coaching from another Dominant about training their submissive. In these cases, the training must occur with both parties present. (The couple can be of any sex, gender, or sexual orientation.)

Knowing what kind of training is appropriate for you requires knowing what you are trying to accomplish. To put it simply:

If you want to learn how to be submissive, then you want submissive training.

If you want to learn how to be of service, then you want slave training.

If you want to learn how to experience an activity but do not want power exchange, then you want bottom training.

If it’s really about your specific fetishes around “training” rather than the actuality of what it looks like, you want fetishized or fantasy training.

MistressTissa_Training

Here, my submissive is receiving punishment with his training.

Also important is understanding the “mood” you would like for your training. The mood can dramatically change the feeling. I can create training sessions which are fun and laid back all the way to strict and sadistic. Please note: I may not necessarily offer any combination of type of training and mood you are looking for.

I’m a natural educator and am adept in many activities, but I’m especially well suited for those wishing to be trained in:

MistressTissa_SubmissionAuthentic Submission. This involves the incorporation of my formal studies in psychology and philosophy (and spirituality, when mutually desired) to teach you what genuine submission is and how to find, express, and/or hone it within yourself. This can be sexy, challenging, fun, educational, and powerful. (Psst…it’s not really about just being on your knees.)

MistressTissa_SlaveBakesAuthentic Slavery. Like submissive training, I use my knowledge and skills in psychology and philosophy (and, again, any mutual interests in spirituality) to teach you what genuine slavery is and how to provide it. Long-term slaves will be trained in understanding the Path of Service, including self-awareness and self-improvement. slaves may also work toward self-actualization.

Femme Training. “Femme” is a distinct concept from “female”. I do not approach femme training assuming that you are or want to be female. You can identify as male, female, or something else and be trained to be femme. Training can include only dress, including how to best dress for your  version of femme, to the inclusion of makeup, mannerisms, and speaking. The most serious femmes can also train in the psychology of femme, femme integration, and femme as a tool for healing “toxic masculinity”.  Note: I do not offer femme training as a form of humiliation.

MistressTissa_SlutTrainingSlut Training. In my world, sluts are good things, and my approach to training reflects that. How, specifically, your training occurs depends on whether you’re a sub, slave, or fetishist; but regardless, you will learn to express your glorious inner slut. You do not have to assume a female persona to engage in this type of training. Men are and can be sluts, too!

 

 

If you would like to explore training with me, whether for one session, a handful of sessions, or over a long period of time, please complete the request form on my contact page. Be sure to include details about the type of training you wish to receive. If you omit the details and just ask for “training”, I will assume that you are coming to me as a slave, have no ego needs, and you would like me to 100% choose how I train you.

If you are interested in training but are not sure which is appropriate for you and your interests, I can help pinpoint what is likely the best fit for you. I can do this is two ways:

1. If you’re not certain you want to schedule a session, request a coaching session only.

2. If you know you’re interested in scheduling a session with me, then I recommend an extended session consultation. Please complete my session request form and indicate that you would like an extended consultation.

Temenos

Did you know that I have my own private dungeon, Temenos?

MistressTissa_Temenos10b

It is easily accessible and located in a safe neighborhood in the city of Philadelphia.

MistressTissa_Temenos_wm

It is intimate, sensual, and well equipped.

MistressTissa_Temenos13

Included are:

St Andrew’s Cross
Padded Seven-Foot Bondage Table and Cage
Padded Corporal Bench
Padded Adjustable Bondage Chair
Latex Vacbed
Full-Sized Velvet Couch
Mirrors
Antique Throne
Blindfolds
Hoods
Gags
Restraints
Rope
Pinwheels
Clips & Clamps
Genitorture Devices
Estim
Crops
Belts
Paddles
Canes
Beaters
Floggers
Whips
Suction Devices
Vibrators
Femme Wardrobe (limited) & Makeup

For more detail, please go to Temenos.

What’s that you say? You haven’t yet experienced a scene with me in my Temenos? Then you really should come for a visit…

Finding a Professional Domme

Last Update: March 30, 2020

Since FOSTA/SESTA was signed into law in April of 2018, pro Domme directories have disappeared. With that, people have been expressing dismay about where they can find Us. I have included some information below which may be useful to you in your search.

Please note:

  • Some information on the sites included in this list is not accurate. Those listed may have moved to another city, retired, or died. Inversely, some Dommes that are active and accepting clients may not be listed on any of them.
  • Because a Domme is listed on a site does not say anything about Her skill, Her professionalism, or Her ethics. Once you find someone you’re interested in, it’s wise to do further research. Ask other people if they know anything about a Domme if you’re not sure.
  • More sites which include US Dommes may be removed or disappear altogether as time goes on. This guide will be updated as needed.

In alphabetical order (site with US Dommes are in bold):

ALL STAR FEMDOMS: This is a curated list of FemDoms courtesy of scene veteran Ms. Irene Boss. Not all professional Dommes are listed here. According to Her mission statement: “the Ladies featured in this Directory are committed to practicing their craft at the highest level.”
Summary: Though Dommes are not organized in any way, it’s worth a look.

BACKPAGE: The site was used by a variety of Dommes to advertise — especially when traveling, it seemed. It was taken down by the US government in April of 2018.
Summary: Since the owners were arrested and charged, it’s unlikely to be resurrected.

COLLARSPACE: Originally called “CollarMe”, this site features an antiquated interface that resembles more of a dating site than a professional directory. Still, some professionals have pages here.
Summary: This may be more useful for people looking for a relationship with a kinky person or for some lifestyle play (though I hear that there are quite a lot of fakes and scammers on the site, so beware).

CRAIGSLIST: A much-used “all purpose” goods and services site. It included an adult personals section that was similar to Backpage. However, around the time FOSTA/SESTA was passed, the site decided to remove the entire personals section, obviously to avoid the same fate as Backpage. Some people have tried to go around this by using other sections, or post in other countries.
Summary: No longer a reliable source. If you do use it, beware of women who claim to be pro Dommes but are difficult or impossible to verify. Some may be law enforcement trying to entrap.

DICKIE VIRGIN: A well-known site for BDSM providers and events around the world run by “Dickie” and “Dixie”, who have a genuine and longtime dedication to pro Dommes. In early 2017, they began a free classifieds section for professionals. The Dommes who utilize it often post their travels.
Summary: A great source. Listings need to be approved, which is helpful to cut down on scammers. Since I don’t know how much they vet those who post ads, a possible fake could be listed. Make sure to cross reference.

DOMINA.MS: Includes a directory and a bulletin-board-style, moderated forum called “The Buzz”.
Summary: Though traffic isn’t high, a potential source.

DOMINA GUIDE: A global directory of professional Dommes since 2005. As of now, US Dommes are still included.
Summary: No word on if the site owner plans on removing US listings, but good for now.

EROS: A long-standing and popular site, due to its attractive interface and excellent customer service, that requires payment to be listed and will accept an ID to mark a Domme as “Eros Verified”. Unfortunately, it’s become increasingly difficult to use. The most recent issue is they no longer allow providers to include their websites in their ads. Several users around the country have reported that that they cannot get a listing published, their ads are being censored or flat-out removed, are unable to get their payments to successfully process (resulting in ads expiring and disappearing), and cannot get anyone to answer the phone or reply to emails. Some have expressed concern that since Eros’s call center was raided in November of 2017 that they may have been compromised by the US government and is tracking users. Some have also said they believe that law enforcement as creating fake listing to entrap users. It’s difficult to verify this, but it might be wise to exercise caution with this site.
Summary: Due to widespread difficulties with listings and service, and suspicions that it may not be run by or in cahoots with “authorities” some Dommes have stopped using it and therefore it’s no longer as reliable of a source at it once was. Still worth a look, but know that some pro Dommes that were once on the site may no longer be listed.

FEMME FATALE DIRECTORY: Updated and it is now “Femme Fatale Films”. Presumably a list of Dommes who identify as Femme Fatales. Some US Dommes are included. It appears that to be listed you must have a clip, which appears exclusive to the site. Membership is required to view them. Listings tend to include the Domme’s personal website. While it has some nice features, it’s overall not terribly developed and thus not easy to use. (This may be why there’s not a lot of Dommes listed here.) When I was exploring it, the map and search functions would not work.
Summary: The site still provides a selection of Dommes but now includes clips of those Dommes which can be viewed with a membership. See if it works for you. You might find the Femme Fatale you’re looking for.

FETLIFE: Fetlife describes itself as “Like Facebook, but run by kinksters”. Launched in 2008, it’s free to join and allows users to create personal profiles and participate in forums about a wide range of topics. Though you can use the site’s search function to look for people, it is intentionally not set up to make this easy. This is to discourage a “meat market” feel. Instead, you can use keywords, such as “pro domme”, to search for groups and look for Dommes that way.
Summary: Not a quick way to find Dommes, but may be useful for those who would like to find a more “lifestyle”, community feel in their search, and possibly some interaction with Dommes in forums before booking. Note: Though pro Dommes are allowed on the site, any discussion of what FetLife defines as “sex acts” (one being strap-on) in exchange for payment or goods can get you banned.

HOGSPY: An international directory and news source for professional Dommes. Payment is required to be included on the site. (Providing images without a watermark is also a requirement, which is a deal-breaker for some.) As of now, US Dommes are still included.
Summary: Limited selection, but worth a look. They do announce tours for the Dommes listed on their site.

MAX FISCH: A well-known Domme directory that has been around since the late 90s, I believe. Unfortunately, it’s been abandoned by its owner and hasn’t been updated since March of 2015. The bulletin-board-style forum “The Hang” is still used by some people, though it is unmoderated. You can still register an account if you’d like to ask questions about a Domme of interest. Reviews are posted.
Summary: Don’t rely on the directory to be accurate, but you can check the forum for info.

MISTRESS ELITE: A UK-centered site that includes a small selection of US Dommes. I found this site difficult to use. Very glitchy and went down while I was searching.
Summary: Give it a go, if you’d like, but you can probably find what you’re looking for elsewhere.

MISTRESS GUIDE: This is an international guide has been around since 2009. I believe it is based in Germany. US Dommes are still listed here. Fairly easy to navigate, but the presentation relies heavily on animated banners to advertise Dommes.
Summary: Covers many countries. Worth a look.

MISTRESS REVIEW: An international index which has been recently updated. Very nice interface. Unlike other directories, it allows users to leave reviews for Dommes directly on their pages.
Summary: Worth a look.

THE MISTRESS WEB: A site with a more modern interface and various “bells and whistles”. It allows you to search for a Domme based on location (including clicking on a map), physical characteristics, and interests. You can also register an account and keep a “Mistress Black Book”. Seems to have some useful functions, but I’m not sure how widely used the site is. Dommes are required to pay to be listed beyond a brief trial period. Includes a small selection of US Dommes.
Summary: Worth a look to see if it’s features are useful to you.

OPEN ADULT DIRECTORY: A long-time, global source for professional Dominas. Unfortunately, they no longer list anyone in the US. Useful but a very dated, 1990s-era interface of text-based links.
Summary: No longer can find US-based Dommes, but still useful for other countries.

PANDEMOS: An international directory “dedicated to the superior female since 2002”. US Dommes are still included.
Summary: Recently updated with a new and improved interface.

PRO DOMME: Light on the listings. According to its Twitter account, the site is going bye-bye.
Summary: Skip. No longer active.

SERIOUS MISTRESSES: An international directory of Mistresses. US Dommes are still listed here, but some of the listings are outdated. Interface is mostly text-based links.
Summary: Worth a look, but make sure you check to see if the listing is accurate.

SWITTER: A newer social media platform specifically for sex workers, which was set up off-shore specifically to circumvent potential legal issues. Though still in it’s early stages, it functions similarly to Twitter. You can search for Dommes in their listings section or by hashtag, e.g. #losangelesdominatrix. Their interface seems to keep improving. Very nice.
Summary: In a worst-case scenario where FOSTA/SESTA is strictly enforced and all these sites remove US listings or are taken down, this could become a good — and necessary — place to find Dommes.

TWITTER: A massive social media platform which has been criticized for censoring people in the adult industry with “shadowbanning” and account suspensions. Still, it’s used by most professionals. You can search for Dommes by name or by hashtag, e.g. #disciplinarian or #bondagemistress. (If someone is shadowbanned, you will not see them in your searches. Try finding Dommes through promotional accounts such as Oostwalum and terry.)
Summary: Since there’s quite a lot of pros who regularly use this site, it’s worth a look.

UNDER HER HEEL: While there are quite a lot of Dommes listed here, I found many who had long retired or who passed away.
Summary: Skip. There are more up-to-date directories. No longer active.

YOUR DOMINATRIX: A very sparse site. No longer lists US Dommes.
Summary: Not terribly useful. Skip this one. No longer active.

So, you’ve looked at all these directories and you still haven’t found what you’re looking for? Try using a search engine!

Use keywords like “Dominatrix” or “Mistress” and the city you’re looking for, e.g. “Tampa Mistress“. If you get too many hits, narrow it down further with a variety of keywords that pertain to your interests, e.g. “Tampa Disciplinarian” or “Tampa Mommy ABDL“. No one coming up for your interest(s) in your preferred city? Are you willing to travel? Trying searching a city that you’re willing to go to, such as: “Sarasota Disciplinarian” or “Orlando Mommy ABDL” or even “Florida Mistress“, as some people may enjoy the activities you are looking for but they may not be easily searchable or listed on their site.

Whatever you come up with, check to see if that Domme has a website, a social media presence, and reviews or testimonials. If she has none of those things, be very careful when booking a session with Her.

Good luck!

(Disclaimer: This list is provided for information purposes only and should not be seen as “promotion” or “facilitation” of “prostitution” or “trafficking” any more than the phone book is promoting its content.)

Testimonial from Luke

“First of all, let me say I was so happy to be back in Your presence!  You are as delightful, elegant, and gracious a hostess as ever.

And devious.  This session was absolutely unique and fantastic!  Everything was unexpected, … You played with some fetishes I didn’t even know I had … You played with my sense of reality were otherworldly.  

The good news for me is, You ALWAYS know where to go next.  Every time I think You’ve plunged me as low as I can go, You find some new way to wring out the last vestiges of pride and self-respect that might be hiding in the corners of my mind.  This was complete debasement.  It was terribly humiliating.  By which I mean greatly humiliating.  By which I mean awesomely humiliating.  And after all of that, my…having the privilege of kissing Your perfect, fetish-inducing feet was the final irony.  

(I will take this opportunity to lodge a formal protest regarding the beauty of Your feet. I will repeat to my death that I am NOT a foot fetishist!!!! …but [sigh] I think I’m…uhh… starting to understand. Dammit!)

In summary, I just want to thank You again for the magical, sublime (yet very REAL) experiences that you provide.  My senses are left tingling, and I’m left shaking my head in awe of what has just happened.  Sessioning with You is a privilege unlike any other.”

Thank you, Luke! You are an absolute delight to session with. I can’t wait for our next adventure!

And thank you for your generous gift!

New testimonial from km

I wanted to thank you for a great first session. It was awesome experience.  Everything from the initial communication to the end of the session was professional.  You made me feel real comfortable throughout. I still can’t get over how good looking you are. When you opened the door I was in awe.”

– km

Thank you, km!

New testimonial from Bmore

“I had my first 90 minute session with Mistress Tissa, and I couldn’t have been happier! Mistress Tissa really took the time to understand what I was looking for in my session and went above and beyond. Temenos (her space) is well equipped and very easy to get to. Mistress Tissa absolutely lives up to her pictures and description both physically and mentally. She is a force to be reckoned with. Our session included foot domination, rough play, bondage and power exchange. The session was exactly what I expected without being predictable, and definitely kept me on my toes. You can tell that Mistress Tissa enjoys this, and is naturally dominant! I absolutely cannot wait until our next session!”

Bmore

[Source: Mistress Review]

Sharing Your Interests Versus Giving a Script

Periodically, when someone requests a session with Me they will give Me a detailed description of exactly how they expect Me to run it. I immediately feel objectified and angry. I feel like they don’t trust My knowledge, My skills, My reputation, and the unique qualities that make Me Me. They are ostensibly seeking a puppet in the show they have written. This is what I call “scripting”.

A script is any detailed instruction about dress, thought/feeling, and/or dialogue. Much like you’d see for a play or movie. It’s purpose is to tell the person how to embody and perform their role. If someone is an actor, for example, this is useful and necessary for them to understand their character, motivation, and the words needed to tell the story. However, not everyone is an “actor” and so these types of instructions are not always appropriate or welcome and therefore may be “off limits”.

In kink culture the term we use to describe something that is off limits is “hard limit”. A hard limit is a boundary that is not to be crossed. If someone says that being whipped with a single tail is a hard limit, guess what? I never whip them with a single tail. I don’t even ask if I can.

Scripts are a hard limit for Me. This means that scripts are a boundary not to be crossed. No, it is not OK to say, “I know you don’t like scripts, Mistress, but can I send one anyway?” A hard limit is a NO. I do not have any interest in someone — usually someone I do not know — telling Me precisely how they want Me to dress, think, and speak. This approach feels like you’re trying to Dominate Me. I’m here to offer My Domination to you, not be subjected to yours.

As a Dominatrix, My role is not to merely be an actor in our scene, My role is to direct it. You do not come to Me to tell Me how to dress, feel, and behave in the same way you do not ask an interior designer to decorate your house and then you tell them — in detail — the way you want each room to look.

Why is this a problem? When you come to Dominatrix (any erotic professional, really) and try to tell Her how to BE, you are ostensibly stripping Her of what makes Her HER in order for Her to be your fantasy of what you want Her to be. This is called “objectification”.

Now, that said,”objectification” is not necessarily a heinous thing. It can be harmless and fun. People commonly objectify others in their personal fantasies. If you’re just jacking off to some fantasy in your head, hey, that’s the privacy of your own mind, but as soon as you take it out of your head and want to turn it into an interaction, it needs to be consensual.

While there are some erotic professionals who are willing to allow a certain level of objectification and take “script”-like requests, such as embodying a fantasy person of your imagination or following a story-line you’ve created, make sure that the person welcomes this before you ask. Do not make assumptions. Do NOT make the mistake of thinking: Woman + erotic play = someone who will be my dress-up doll and I can mold into my plaything. Like Our clients, We have individual personalities, likes, dislikes, and strengths. When you select someone, the point is not just because you like the way She looks, but because She seems like the kind of person you want to have an experience with.

If you’re still confused, here are some examples of scripts:

Script_ex1

Another:

Script_ex2

For clarity, here’s a comparison:

Sharing a script: “Come through the door with a evil look on your face and then come over to me and slap Me in the face before you shove me to the ground and tell me that I’m your worthless dog.”

Sharing interests: “I like the idea of being your pet but being humiliated by you. Maybe punished because I’m not good enough for you.”

Is the difference clear?

In the first, the person is telling Me how to perform and directing Me. In the second, they are just telling Me what they like without telling Me how to do it.

Again, you don’t tell the interior designer how to design; that’s their job.

You don’t need to tell Me how to be a Dominatrix; that’s My job.