Since I was a child, I have been something of an activist. My main form of activism has been grassroots education. This means that I informally try to educate people. As in, I’m not actually a Teacher, but I try to teach. I (usually) don’t hold formal classrooms, I just “set-up shop” wherever.
One thing I tend to be concerned with is social issues and the politics around them. Some people don’t like to discuss politics. It makes them uncomfortable. I respect a person’s desire to bow out of things that make them uncomfortable, but I also like to ask people to think about how they are effected by such a decision.
One issue that occurs with education is that not everyone welcomes it. (*laugh*) It’s common that when you criticize some harmful idea that someone has, the person holding it will retaliate. (People who claim to not hold it sometimes retaliate, too.) Usually it’s in the form of verbal abuse, but also sometimes going so far as to make and carry out threats against you. Just because you’re talking about how something is shitty and hurts people in this world.
Recently, I had a new retaliation. Someone on Twitter said I was just “virtue signaling”. This means I like to grandstand My stance on something, post little pictures in support of things, but that I don’t actually do anything about them. Clearly, it’s meant to insult.
This was a first for Me. This person didn’t know Me well enough to make such a statement, and to know that I do more than just “talk” (not that talking can’t be valuable to an audience who remains in the dark), so it didn’t mean anything to Me, but it also showed how attempts to discuss things like sexism, homophobia, racism, transphobia, etc, will attract misunderstanding.
Just before I began writing this, I was asked why I talk shit about men and that maybe I shouldn’t do that. This was obviously inspired by some of the things I’ve said on Twitter, where there is a literal sea of sexism waiting to drown you. (Actually, the sea is everywhere for women, if she doesn’t learn to keep her head up.) Twitter is actually a fantastic platform to share ideas (even if only 140 characters at a time). You can very quickly be “broadcasted” to millions of people. This can be helpful to get your ideas to a larger audience and have them think more critically about something, like sexism, for example.
So, do I hate men? Nothing is further from the truth.
First, I need to provide you with a basic keymap to My social commentary about this particular topic:
“Men” = Patriarchal male. Note capital M to communicate that I’m talking about a particular kind of male.
“Dude“, “Bro“, “Guys” = a subset of Patriarchal Men. Usually the types who are especially dumb, cocky, and like to mansplain.
“men” = men without any cultural implications (e.g. their values, behavior). men are not inherently a problem.
There is a similar keymap for other topics I enjoy thinking about and discussing where I capitalize the culture and keep the people themselves lower case. Such as “White” and “white”. There is White culture, which actually contains many subcultures and practices which are not problematic but also some which are truly reprehensible, and there are also white people, who are not inherently anything. There are many other examples.
Anyway, this is a shorthand way of making a distinction between a human being and their culture. It’s not an original idea. You will see it used in other social-political critique/critical thinking/philosophy type places.
So, how do I feel about men? I’m pretty heavily into them. They’re nearly all of the people I play with (and therefore like). They’re nearly all of whom I have dated and partnered with in My life. Now, how do I feel about Men? Well, how do you think I feel about someone who believes themselves to be inherently superior to women? And who believes they should control how we think, feel, behave, dress, and reproduce? Just because they are men?
You may be wondering: do I ever criticize women? Absolutely. There are Patriarchal Women. I don’t like them either. However, because I’m a Dominant Women, My focus is on criticizing the majority of those who drive the Patriarchy (Men), a system which essentially loathes Women like Me. (I pretty heavily criticize Patriarchal Women in other spaces. Trust Me.)
Also: When it comes to social/political commentary the rule of thumb is that if someone is saying something that does not apply to you personally, then they are talking about someone else.
Example: “Men need to stop trying to tell women that they can’t have abortions.”
If you see a statement like this, the first question to ask yourself is: Does this apply to you? Are you a man who believes that women should not be the ones who choose whether or not they must go through with a pregnancy? If you are one of those Men, then this person is talking about you. If you are not one of these Men, this person is not talking about you. Therefore, instead of becoming defensive, try to understand that you are not their intended audience and try to see the value in their perspective.
I feel that education is important work. As a Dominant Woman, the Patriarchy is of particular interest to Me. Since most of the people I play with express and explore very non-Patriarchal selves, it should be of interest to you, too. The Patriarchy is the very thing that causes men to feel shame about wanting to dress in “women’s” clothes, wanting to submit to a woman, wanting to be fucked in the ass, that being a “sensitive” and “caring” person makes you a “wimp” and “pussy” (note the misogyny in that word choice), and wanting to be touched and loved and accepted for who they really are.
So, when I criticize the Patriarchy, I’m actually not just doing it to liberate women, I’m doing it to liberate men, too.