Training

Interested in receiving training from an authentic Mistress and professional Dominatrix?

I offer personalized training for individuals and couples in a wide variety of activities for submissives, slaves, bottoms, and/or fetishists. I typically do not train Dominants except in the case of a couple where the Dominant would like coaching from another Dominant about training their submissive. In these cases, the training must occur with both parties present. (The couple can be of any sex, gender, or sexual orientation.)

Knowing what kind of training is appropriate for you requires knowing what you are trying to accomplish. To put it simply:

If you want to learn how to be submissive, then you want submissive training.

If you want to learn how to be of service, then you want slave training.

If you want to learn how to experience an activity but do not want power exchange, then you want bottom training.

If it’s really about your specific fetishes around “training” rather than the actuality of what it looks like, you want fetishized or fantasy training.

MistressTissa_Training

Here, my submissive is receiving punishment with his training.

Also important is understanding the “mood” you would like for your training. The mood can dramatically change the feeling. I can create training sessions which are fun and laid back all the way to strict and sadistic. Please note: I may not necessarily offer any combination of type of training and mood you are looking for.

I’m a natural educator and am adept in many activities, but I’m especially well suited for those wishing to be trained in:

MistressTissa_SubmissionAuthentic Submission. This involves the incorporation of my formal studies in psychology and philosophy (and spirituality, when mutually desired) to teach you what genuine submission is and how to find, express, and/or hone it within yourself. This can be sexy, challenging, fun, educational, and powerful. (Psst…it’s not really about just being on your knees.)

MistressTissa_SlaveBakesAuthentic Slavery. Like submissive training, I use my knowledge and skills in psychology and philosophy (and, again, any mutual interests in spirituality) to teach you what genuine slavery is and how to provide it. Long-term slaves will be trained in understanding the Path of Service, including self-awareness and self-improvement. slaves may also work toward self-actualization.

Femme Training. “Femme” is a distinct concept from “female”. I do not approach femme training assuming that you are or want to be female. You can identify as male, female, or something else and be trained to be femme. Training can include only dress, including how to best dress for your  version of femme, to the inclusion of makeup, mannerisms, and speaking. The most serious femmes can also train in the psychology of femme, femme integration, and femme as a tool for healing “toxic masculinity”.  Note: I do not offer femme training as a form of humiliation.

MistressTissa_SlutTrainingSlut Training. In my world, sluts are good things, and my approach to training reflects that. How, specifically, your training occurs depends on whether you’re a sub, slave, or fetishist; but regardless, you will learn to express your glorious inner slut. You do not have to assume a female persona to engage in this type of training. Men are and can be sluts, too!

 

 

If you would like to explore training with me, whether for one session, a handful of sessions, or over a long period of time, please complete the request form on my contact page. Be sure to include details about the type of training you wish to receive. If you omit the details and just ask for “training”, I will assume that you are coming to me as a slave, have no ego needs, and you would like me to 100% choose how I train you.

If you are interested in training but are not sure which is appropriate for you and your interests, I can help pinpoint what is likely the best fit for you. I can do this is two ways:

1. If you’re not certain you want to schedule a session, request a coaching session only.

2. If you know you’re interested in scheduling a session with me, then I recommend an extended session consultation. Please complete my session request form and indicate that you would like an extended consultation.

Who Really Has The Power?

When speaking of power exchange relationships in BDSM, such as Dominance/submission (“D/s”), you may occasionally hear some people claim, “it’s the sub who truly holds the power.” Often this is followed with the assertion that submission is a “gift”. While there is truth to this, it’s not the whole truth.

The first error is the implication that power is held by one person: the sub. Just like outside of our kinky play, everyone has power. It’s just up to you whether you’re going to exercise it or give it up.

So, while the submissive does in fact hold power, so does the Dominant. Both roles involve having and expressing power. The sub can be controlled only as much as they allow and the Domme will control only as much as they are willing.

This is a symbiotic relationship. It’s characterized by interdependence. One is defined by the existence of the other.

In other words: while it’s true that without a sub the Domme has no one to control, it’s also true that without a Domme the sub has no one to be controlled by. They are both receiving benefits from — and giving “gifts” to — one another.

Article: Kinky Sex Could Be the Secret to Your Success

“Many successful visionaries throughout history, from artists to scientists and even politicians, have had well-documented kinks and fetishes that affected how they operated in their daily lives.

A wave of recent research has confirmed this: If it’s something you desire in the first place, kinky sex can benefit you not just in the bedroom, but outside of it as well. “Unconventional” sexual practices and fantasies, such as BDSM, group sex, or role play, have been shown to reduce psychological stress, improve mental health and can help with satisfying and communicative relationships. Kinky people have also been found to have higher self-worth than those who are too afraid or ashamed to pursue their fantasies

People who engage in BDSM and kink have been found to be happier, more conscientious and less neurotic than people who don’t engage in so-called “deviant” sex. “

More confirmation of what many of us have known all along: kink is healthy and has tangible benefits.

Full article here: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12231118/how-kinky-sex-leads-to-career-success/ (worth the read)

Position, Role, and Fetishism

I believe one of the most pervasive misunderstandings in kink is the difference between top and bottom, Dominant and submissive, and fetishism. In My experience, this confusion is not limited to people who are new to the culture, but people who have been involved in it for many years and don’t quite seem to know what they are and which apply to them. Because I think it is a fundamental aspect to concise negotiations and overall better experiences, allow Me to explain.

The first thing that is helpful to think about is that our experiences are multi-dimensional. Whether that experience is kinky or not, there is never just one thing going on at a time. Even if you’re just sitting there, breathing, your body is completing a multitude of tasks at once: your heart is beating, your body temperature is being regulated, and your immune system is on alert. Likewise, in kink, there is more than one thing going on. Three of those things are the focus of this article.

The three things are: topping and bottoming, or what I’ll call “position”; Dominance and submission, or what I’ll call “role”; and fetishism. While they all relate to one another, they have distinct differences which are helpful to understand, not only for self-awareness but when seeking out others for play. Understanding which concepts best describe you can help you hone in on who and what it is you’re looking for.

First, I’ll define position. When someone assumes the active position in play, we call that person the “top”. This is the person who provides the sensation, physically and/or emotionally. This means it’s the person who is spanking, tying, spitting, humiliating, or penetrating. The complement is the person who assumes the passive position, what is called the “bottom”. This person receives the sensation, physically and/or emotionally, that the top is providing. This means it’s the person being spanked, being tied, being spit upon, being humiliated, or being penetrated. Of course, one can do both, and when someone does they’re called a “switch” or “versatile”. Note that this doesn’t say anything more than who is giving and who is receiving.

Next, we have role. Consider that in life, there are people whose role is to lead or assume control and there are people whose role is to follow or to relinquish control. This dynamic applies to kinky play as well. The person who leads or controls play is called a “Dominant”. Dominants make the decisions about how and when the spanking, tying, spitting, humiliating, or penetrating will take place. The person who follows or is controlled in play is called a “submissive”. A submissive is not there to make the decisions about how and when the (negotiated) activities occur, their role is to submit to the decisions of the Dominant. In BDSM culture, we call this dynamic “D/s”, which is short for “Dominant/submissive” or “Dominance/submission”.  It’s what the middle two letters in BDSM stand for. (There is another dynamic which we call “M/s”, which is short for Mistress/slave or Master/slave, and is another form of power exchange which has different expectations, but I’m not going to go into that here.) Note that this doesn’t say anything about who is creating or receiving the sensation; only who is in control of it.

Lastly, there’s fetishism. When the term “fetish” was first introduced in the early 20th century, it was used to describe something that needed to be present in order for someone to feel sexual arousal. Since then, it’s grown beyond its clinical beginnings to more broadly encompass something that is not considered inherently sexual but causes sexual arousal, such as shoes, being put in a diaper, being tied to a chair, or being slapped in the face. And now, we also have a pop culture concept of “fetish” which can be anything someone is fixated on, including things we think of as sexual.

A fetish is a subjective experience. What is a fetish for one person may not be for another. Because it is subjective, it will therefore involve personal variables about what, when, and how the fetish manifests. Fetishes may be common between people, such as seeing a woman put on pantyhose, or be unique to that individual, such as that it must be Mistress Belinda putting on nude, Cuban-heel, thigh-high stockings with black contrast. Note that this says nothing about giving or receiving, or about power dynamics, just arousal.

Now, I’ll describe some of the confusion people seem to have with these layers.

Probably the most common misunderstanding I see is the conflation of position and role. While it is common for the person assuming the top position to also be the Dominant, that isn’t always the case. Sometimes a person can control the way in which they receive sensation. If Mistress Belinda says, “Lick My stockings!” how would we describe her position and role? Well, because Mistress Belinda is both dictating the action and receiving the licking, she is acting as a Dominant bottom. The party that is agreeing to follow Her command and provide the licking is acting as a submissive top. Another term you may hear used to describe a submissive top is “service top”. This person submits to requests/orders/control about how they will provide sensation to another.

Perhaps the second most common misunderstanding is the difference between wanting to assume a role and wanting to assume a position. It is common that people who say they want to Dominate or submit don’t actually want to do those things at all. Someone may say they’re submissive, but what they really want is to bottom. That is, they want someone to take the active role in creating sensations for them, not submit to someone else’s control about how those sensations happen. Likewise, some who consider themselves “Dominant” are really tops, in that they enjoy creating sensation for others, but they want someone to tell them what they want them to do, and then they’ll do it.

Maybe the third most common misunderstanding is the confusion between what it means to actually exchange power and to fetishize it. There are many people who say they want a Dominant or submissive, whether it be for play or a relationship, but what is really going on is that they actually just have a fetish for it. What does that mean, exactly?

Submissive and slave, like Dominant and Mistress/Master, are words we use to describe the way power is exchanged. Fetishism is not about power, it’s about arousal. Because a fetish is about arousal, to fetishize something is to be aroused by one’s own subjective perceptions about a person or object. It’s a form of appropriation, or assigning a value to something based on one’s own feelings or beliefs about it rather than what it actually is. For example, being aroused by someone with glasses because they’re assumed to be more intelligent or by a person with blonde hair because they’re assumed to be less; certain ethnicities because they are “exotic”; or Dominant women because they are believed to exist to be a service top to men’s sexual fantasies.

Since a person’s ideas and fantasies may in no way reflect the reality of the person or object, it is said the person or object is being fetishized. While fetishizing something is normal, it can be problematic. People may not welcome someone’s fetishization of them. This is not only because it’s appropriation, but because it’s a form of objectification. Nonconsensual objectification to serve another’s erotic and sexual desires is dehumanizing. This is why I believe it is especially important for fetishists to understand their motivations and responsibly negotiate them. Without this awareness, you are treading in very touchy terrain.

An example that encapsulates the three areas of this article is a man who identifies as a “submissive” and wants a “Dominant” woman that dresses, acts, feels, and speaks in the way that he desires. In actuality, this man is fetishizing a woman who he would like to control into being what he wants her to be. So, this man who thinks he’s a “sub” is actually a Dominant fetishist. If he wants her to do things to him, such as “tease and denial”, he’s also a bottom. If he wants to do things to her, such as body worship, he’s also a top. This relates to what we call “topping from the bottom“, a misnomer that really refers to “Dominating from the submissive role”. I can tell you that as lifestyle and professional Dominant with over a decade of experience playing with a lot of men, this is a very common situation.

So, what is happening here?

Many men seem to find the idea of being controlled by a woman to be sexually arousing, but the actuality of it is not what they are really looking for. There is a disparity between their fantasy of what She is like and the reality. This fantasy is often the result of the influence of media, such as pornography, on one’s ideas and perceptions.

Let me talk a little bit more about how porn can help create this situation.

Porn is a business, and its business is to arouse. Those who create porn must think of what arouses their audience. If their audience is men, they need to understand their fantasies. Since a person’s fantasies put them at the center, they do not necessarily reflect reality, where they aren’t the sole participant but part of an equation and set of circumstances with one or more people. (This isn’t a male or erotic phenomenon, by the way, but a natural byproduct of fantasy itself.)

In a FemDom clip, for example, the idea isn’t so much about depicting a woman actually being in control, as it is about her embodying what they think their (male) audience  wants her to be like. This is why it is common for Female Dominants to encounter men who expect Us to simply act out their fantasies without little to no regard about our part of the equation. (And, yes, Dominants can also be confused by the fantasy of what they believe they are supposed to be.)

The mixture of not understanding these concepts and the blurring between what is fantasy and what is reality can add to the confusion of who you are and what you are trying to accomplish. If you recognize what it means to be Dominated versus being be topped, or if what you are really feeling is a fetish, you will be able to find a more comfortable space in which to explore your kinks and further refine your experiences.

If you would like help figuring out your own kinky identity, I offer high-quality, personalized coaching.

“Topping From the Bottom”

“Topping from the bottom” is a phrase that you will inevitably hear if you spend any length of time in the kink scene. You will most likely hear it coming from a Dominant lamenting about this behavior and informing potential players that they do not tolerate it. While some understand what is meant by this phrase, I have encountered many – including seasoned players – who do not.

The first thing to understand is that the phrase “topping from the bottom” is actually a misnomer. It’s not really a bottom attempting to top (that doesn’t actually make sense), but a submissive attempting to Dominate. Because of this, it could more accurately be called “Domming as a sub”.

What does that mean, exactly?

To understand, you need to know the difference between being a top and a bottom and a Domme and a sub.

Top and bottom are positions. Someone in the top position is the one who creates sensation. Someone in the bottom position is the one who receives it. It infers nothing about who is in control of whom.

Dominant and submissive are, to put it simply, roles. The person in the Dominant role exercises control. The person in the submissive role relinquishes it. It infers nothing about what position someone assumes.

When someone agrees to relinquish control, it means they are not providing it. If you attempt to control your play partner(s) when you have agreed to give up that control, you are the equivalent of a back-seat driver.  “Put your hands at 10 and 2…go that way…drive faster…” You distract the driver away from driving. You annoy them. You may get them to pull over and ask why the hell you wanted them to drive in the first place.

People often are confused about how this figures into scenes. They ask, “How do I tell my Dominant what I like without ‘topping from the bottom’?

As I discuss in my article, “Sharing Your Interests Versus Giving a Script”, explaining what you enjoy is how we establish what we’re going to do together; it’s a necessary part of scene negotiation. Saying you enjoy rope bondage and floggers isn’t the same as telling someone how to tie you up and flog you. Of course, I’m not talking about establishing boundaries, also called “limits”, in order to feel comfortable and safe, such as “I can’t handle any more than two-point bondage” and “I only enjoy flogging on my butt”. That is something you should always do.

Once the scene begins, if you have agreed to assume a submissive role, what you have agreed to do is…submit! Though there may be minor adjustments which need to be made during a scene, such as letting your play partner know if you have reached a limit (something that might not be immediately obvious to them), assuming a submissive position means you are relinquishing control to your Dominant(s) for the activities you have negotiated.

What happens if you don’t want to submit?

Then it may be that you actually want to be the Dominant yourself, or you do not want a scene which involves power exchange.

In my experience, it’s actually pretty common for people who think that they are or want to be a submissive, in fact, are not or do not want that. They don’t usually realize this because they think that submitting and bottoming are synonymous. What I believe they truly want is a top — specifically, a service top. They want to instruct someone how to do things to them. This is where you will see “topping from the bottom” acted out.

Because this is so common, it’s why you will regularly hear exasperated Dommes exclaim, often in their first breath, “No topping from the bottom!” which you now know is really them saying, “Don’t say you want to be a submissive and then try to control me!”

The more you understand what it is you’re looking for and how to negotiate it, the less you will have this problem!

Shaming Dominant Women Who Submit

There is a faction of men, and some women, who are very outspoken about their contempt for Dominant Women who enjoy submission. I have seen them stalk and harass such women, proclaiming, “She’s not a REAL Domme! She submits!” Aside from looking like a troll, there’s a clear lack of understanding about power exchange as it exists outside of their porn clips and fetish fantasies, as well as some possible double-standards and hidden misogyny. Let Me attempt to bring these people into the real world.

First of all, I want to say that I do not trust ANY Dominant — female, male, or otherwise — who claims to have never submitted and does not have an interest to do so. To Me, it’s a big ol’ red flag. It’s kinda like when you have a supervisor who has never done your job and has no interest in learning what you do, but they are happy to act like an authority about it and boss you around. Nobody likes these kind of people.

I believe that to be an effective and great Dominant, you need to experience submission. What does giving up power mean, how much are you willing to give, under what conditions are you able to let go, how do you feel and react when being given an order, what goes through your mind when you are pushed, and so on. This is important because having an experience as a submissive increases your empathy for submissives.

Likewise, to be a great top you need to understand what it means to bottom. If you want to use an implement on someone, you should know what it feels like to receive that implement (anatomical limitations aside). If you don’t understand the perspective of the person who is bottoming, your knowledge will be limited to what you can imagine their perspective being like. And, personally, despite My rich imagination, I can tell you that there really is no substitute for actually feeling a single tail yourself.

“But how can a woman say She’s Dominant but also be willing to submit? Dominant Women don’t submit! It’s against their nature! It invalidates Their Holy Dommliness!”

Here’s the reality: dominant men can kneel before Me, submit to My power for one, two, three or more hours, and at the conclusion of our scene, guess what? They get up off their knees and continue their lives as dominant men. Likewise, a Domme can relinquish control to another…and when She stops relinquishing that control, She’s still Dominant. People, like power, are things whose expression is multi-layered and dynamic.

One way power can be expressed is through an intrinsically “dominant” personality. You may have heard of “type A” personalities. These are dominant types. Their brain is wired in such a way that they are naturally take-charge people. They feel more comfortable in leadership roles, and being assertive and confrontational is usually easier for them.

Another way power is expressed is by making a conscious choice to express it in a given situation. If one makes a decision to take the advice of their doctor and have the surgery, this is actually an act of submission! However, agreeing to let someone else operate on you does not change your underlying personality — whether dominant, submissive, etc. — before, during, or after the procedure.

Also, like many men, women usually have requirements before they’ll agree to offer their submission. It might be only given during certain activities, definitely not during other activities, and there might even be conditions to “inspire” submission, without which they don’t feel the desire or ability to do so in the first place. Sometimes it’s a person’s sex or gender, sometimes their age or ethnicity, sometimes it’s physique or clothing, sometimes it’s money. I have heard several men tell Me that beauty inspires submission in them. Or height. Or intelligence. Or big tits. Or bitchiness. Or very high heels. Dommes who submit are pretty much guaranteed to have their own versions of these things. It’s all personal and valid.

If you’re asking yourself, “Why in the world would someone who is Dominant even feel a desire to submit in the first place? Isn’t that exactly what Dominant people don’t want to do?”  I think one reason why people feel this way is because they are, probably unconsciously, associating submission with weakness, humiliation, or because it’s a sign that someone is actually unable to effectively dominate. None of these are true.

Imagine a dominant male CEO who is responsible for leading his company and the people in it every flipping day. He’s very good at this, but it’s still a lot of pressure and it can wear a person out. Most people will want to find ways to manage the stress that is generated. We all tend to do this naturally; it’s part of our inclination to homeostasis. The more “on” and “in control” a person has to be in their lives, they more they might feel a need to do the opposite to find their equilibrium. (The inverse can be true for people in positions in which they lack power.) This is not weakness. It’s a function of emotional health. So, the CEO might find his equilibrium by going sailing, gambling at a casino, or visiting a Dominatrix.

It’s the same for a Domme. She might spend all week controlling Her subs’ every move; tying them down and doing all sorts of things to them “without their consent” and on the weekend think, “All these guys seemed so at peace afterward. I want to know what it’s like to be tied down and have things done to Me ‘against My will’. I want to take a break and give someone else the power to make the decisions.” And so, like the always-in-control CEO, She decides to release some pressure by situationally submitting to another.

The thing about this that shamers don’t seem to understand or care about is: the rope that ties Her down or the thing that does whatever to Her doesn’t magically change Her desire, ability, or wiring to be Dominant anymore than the CEO who gets on his knees and licks the bottom of My shiny black boots. These are just experiences people are having. It doesn’t fundamentally change who they are. (Well, it could have an effect on one’s consciousness and self-concept which can change over time, but that’s for another article.)

People also can submit just for fun. I mean, some of you do it for that reason, right? You’re not hardcore, “lifestyle” slaves, you just want to negotiate some activities and then let your Dominant make the decisions about what they look like for a couple hours. You enjoy the mystery, the suspense, even the “game”. It’s sexy. It’s a good time. Why would that be any different for a Domme?

Lastly, if a woman is really Dominant, She’s going to do whatever the hell She wants, anyway — whether someone thinks it’s okay or not. A person’s ignorance won’t change that, and any unexamined beliefs regarding women, dominance, submission, and how they relate to that person’s fantasies about those things are theirs to own and don’t necessarily have any bearing on reality. So stop shaming Dominant Women who submit.

 

The continued training of slave m

Dear Mistress Tissa:

i would like to begin by saying “thank You” for another amazing session.   As is always the case, O/our sessions are equally intense and enjoyable for me.  This one was no different.  i hope that You were pleased and satisfied with the way i served You on this day.

Thank You for the time You spent prior to O/our session, checking in with me on my well-being both emotionally and physically.  It is very satisfying to know that i am the devoted slave of a dominatrix who is not only highly skilled and knowledgeable in BDSM, but also cares very much about Her subs’ emotional and physical well-being.  It is very comforting to know that i am in the capable hands of a such a sincere practitioner of Her vocation.

As previously stated, O/our most recent session was extremely intense and equally enjoyable, with two different scenarios that took place where You beat my ass with various types of instruments of discipline.  At various times You used Your powerful hands…

mistresstissa_spank

…two different new paddles that you were breaking in on me, (by the way, the wooden one stung the most), floggers, whips, and two wooden canes, were all harshly applied to my back, but mostly to my ass.

mistresstissa_redbottom

As is always the case it was an extremely enjoyable experience for me being at the complete mercy of a beautiful and skilled Dominatrix.  But, what made it so much more satisfying was the fact that You took the time to continue my training on effectively accepting and enjoying the beating that You were administering.  And, i cannot thank You enough for the lessons You have taught me on being a more receptive pain slut for You.  Instructing me on being more receptive to the discipline You administer by focusing on accepting each blow as more of a sensation, instead of “just pain,” has helped me to more fully enjoy these pleasurable experiences to the fullest.  i was better able to stay in the moment and focus on accepting Your discipline as a sensation to  be enjoyed, as opposed to pain that simply must be endured.  Even the final three blows you administered to my ass with the very large cane were manageable, but more importantly, exciting and enjoyable.   This was mainly due to the clear and purposeful suggestions You gave me on managing and accepting the intensity of the situation.  When You asked me if i could handle the final three intense blows that You were planning to administer, i knew that i could, because at that point i was well trained on accepting each blow as a sensation to be appreciated and savored.  Your expertise in Domination is unparalleled in my opinion and something that i truly admire.

I cannot thank You enough Mistress Tissa for teaching me how to better accept and enjoy the pain/pleasure that You administer to me during O/our sessions, and

for being so patient with me as You train me to be a better slave to You, and

for applying those amazing “healing hands” of Yours to my most sore areas during O/our recent session, and

for helping me to come to the realization that i truly love submitting to any pain that You inflict on me during O/our sessions because i derive tremendous pleasure from experiencing that sensation, but more importantly (to me) because  of the pleasure it affords You, and

for being  such a beautiful and amazing Goddess and allowing me the privilege of worshipping You as a “devoted slave”.

Sincerely,

slave m

slave m neglected to mention that the entire context of our session was about allowing one’s self to enter deep levels of submission through certain activities. We have been exploring sensation processing and how it relates to submission.

Also, slave m continues to be generous with his compliments. I don’t think My expertise in Domination is “unparalleled”, but I do consider Myself an expert in power dynamics/exchange and the psychology thereof.

For the record: The photo of his reddened bottom is only after I had spanked and paddled it. The other implements came after I took him off My lap.

Mistress Tissa’s Lexicon: Scene Director

Scene Director: This is the person who attempts to tell the Dominant how to run the show. They may tell Her/Him how to dress, how they should behave, what emotions to feel, what their motivation is, how and when to do an activity and for how long. The more Dominant a person is they more they hate this.

Some of you may say, “But shouldn’t I tell the Dominant what I like and don’t like?” Of course. But there is a difference between discussing your likes and limits and micromanaging your Dominant. Scene Directors tend to want to make decisions that are normally the responsibility and interest of the Dominant. They tend to completely disregard the concept of “negotiation” and self-proclaimed and/or agreed upon submission. They assume that the Dominant is merely there to follow their script, instead of the one who is supposed to direct the scene. If you’re looking to be director, and want the “Domme” to be the actress in your fantasy, you’re looking for what’s called a “service top” (i.e. not a Domme).

When encountered by a professional Dominant it is especially irksome because it shows Us that despite your interest in what We offer, you either have a lack of trust in Our ability to do it or you are simply objectifying Our role in the interaction. If you feel this way, you may wish to reflect on what’s really going on for you; or, if it’s because you’re nervous because you aren’t clear about how We may do an activity, simply ask for more time to go over things.

A Scene Director is also said to be “topping from the bottom